While not every bit of news that gets its face flashed in the newsweb or newspaper is good, some is at least interesting. Such is the case with this story. A man, who was hit by a car was pronounced dead. It wasn't until the medical examinor was recording his wounds did he notice the man's shallow breathing! If that doesn't chill your bones, i don't know what would!
Friday, January 28, 2005
Thursday, January 27, 2005
What we don't know, Won't hurt us
The California mud-slides killed 10 people, by last reading. During the rescue operation, a statement was made by a rescue worker, "this is mother nature at her worst". I was shocked. Had he forgotten about the tsunami that had taken the lives of more than 200,000 people only a few weeks before? Did he know that rescue workers in Tsunami effected areas were (as of last night) still finding an average of 1000 bodies a day?? I decided to check see what the American news was reporting. So I went to msn. The leading news headlines were:
1. 36 die in worst day for U.S. in Iraq
2.Calif. train derails, at least 10 die
3.Bush to Iraqis: ?Defy ... terrorists?
2.Calif. train derails, at least 10 die
3.Bush to Iraqis: ?Defy ... terrorists?
I know that often msn isn't the leading source for news so I checked CNN. The leading news stories were:
? General: Chopper crashed in bad weather 3D model
? Bush: I have 'planted the flag of liberty' Transcript
? Rice wins confirmation Panel OKs Gonzales Video
? Music mogul surrenders in drug money probe
? SI.com: Kidnappers demand $3M for MLB player's mom
? 10-pound meteorite hits Cambodia, sparks fires, prayers
? No UK charges for Guantanamo four
? Entire staff of NYC radio show pulled over tsunami slur
? Passenger subdued on Southwest flight
? General: Chopper crashed in bad weather 3D model
? Bush: I have 'planted the flag of liberty' Transcript
? Rice wins confirmation Panel OKs Gonzales Video
? Music mogul surrenders in drug money probe
? SI.com: Kidnappers demand $3M for MLB player's mom
? 10-pound meteorite hits Cambodia, sparks fires, prayers
? No UK charges for Guantanamo four
? Entire staff of NYC radio show pulled over tsunami slur
? Passenger subdued on Southwest flight
At least they mentioned the Tsunami. However, the story really had nothing to do with the disaster. I had to do with radio shows being careless in their broadcasting.
SBS is a leader in new for Australia. Its top stories were:
There used to be a saying, "If it bleeds, it leads". Could it be though, that people are more interested in hearing stories that don't make them feel bad? The America government gave $350 million dollars to the tsunami relief. In addition to this many of their celebrities donated more than $10 millionUS. England gave 76 million pounds plus cancelled debts of the countries which totaled about $3 billion USdollars. Along with that the soccer clubs have pledged $1.8 millionUS . Australia has pledged $6 billionAU over the next 4 years. Not only that but the television networks worked together to raise a further $20 millionAU. While each of these countries were willing to give something, both England and the USA have been out done. Could it be that Americans and Britain's don't want to know where their money is going? Or do they not want to know where someone else's money is going?
The obvious argument against this is that Australia is closer to these countries effected and thus, has more to gain by helping them. This is true. Can't argue against it. But when you think that England and America are BOTH much wealthier than Australia, have bigger populations than Australia, AND had a bigger death toll due to the tsunami, it is pitiful.
For more info about the tsunami. Go to Wikipedia.
Monday, January 24, 2005
News about ME
Okay, i haven't updated anyone on what is happening with me in quite a while so here it goes....
LAST WEEK:
Went to avondale to start my marketing job/training. My superviser had gone on holiday and my trainter was no where to be found. Went to the boss of the superviser and found out that she didn't know what i could do at all. So for an entire week i had no job. It wasn't too bad. I got to do a bunch of catching up with stuff i needed to get done for the drama in May.
LAST WEEKEND:
Came down to Sydney with Chris. Hung out with Melody a lot. Watched a few movies and decided to stay in sydney this week due to the fact i was unsure if i could get work in Avondale immediately. (we have a national holiday on Wednesday so i don't know if starting this week is really going to be an option) ANYWAY....Jillian (chris' mum) asked me if i would be willing to work for her for a few days instead. So i said yes! She wants me to help develope a degree (a BA in communications) for Pacific Adventist University. So far it is heaps of fun!
THIS WEEK:
This week i'll be in Sydney until Wednesday whereupon i will travel up to Avondale and spend the next week and a half up there.
Now you know what is going on with me. Wish you hadn't have read this, don't you?
LAST WEEK:
Went to avondale to start my marketing job/training. My superviser had gone on holiday and my trainter was no where to be found. Went to the boss of the superviser and found out that she didn't know what i could do at all. So for an entire week i had no job. It wasn't too bad. I got to do a bunch of catching up with stuff i needed to get done for the drama in May.
LAST WEEKEND:
Came down to Sydney with Chris. Hung out with Melody a lot. Watched a few movies and decided to stay in sydney this week due to the fact i was unsure if i could get work in Avondale immediately. (we have a national holiday on Wednesday so i don't know if starting this week is really going to be an option) ANYWAY....Jillian (chris' mum) asked me if i would be willing to work for her for a few days instead. So i said yes! She wants me to help develope a degree (a BA in communications) for Pacific Adventist University. So far it is heaps of fun!
THIS WEEK:
This week i'll be in Sydney until Wednesday whereupon i will travel up to Avondale and spend the next week and a half up there.
Now you know what is going on with me. Wish you hadn't have read this, don't you?
Wednesday, January 19, 2005
Random info
I've started a new blog that is much more random. I'll post comments about movies, other blogs, websites...etc. and then rate them out of 10. If your interested have a look!
Tuesday, January 18, 2005
Response to Admiral
I am a History minor. It may surprise you to find out, but I actually do know something about history. I know that history is first and foremost subjective. It is subjective because of people’s beliefs, the culture of the time they live is, and their way of life, to name a few things. Thus when people right history they write from their understanding and knowledge which will not be the same as our current understanding and knowledge.
If I had lived, with the knowledge that I have now, during the time of WWII, I may have been apposed to the war¼then again, I may not have been. I don’t know. The reason I don’ know is because I don’t understand what it was like to live during that time. What is often said about Hitler was that if America hadn’t have joined in the war when it did, the Nazi party could have taken over the whole world, causing persecution and general death everywhere. I don’t think this is likely. First of all, there is a limited number of sources that think Hitler wanted to concur North America. Secondly, the war had already started turning against the Nazi’s when America decided to come on board. These are factors I have not often heard discussed in a typical history lesson. Neither is what is about to follow. Forgive me if it sounds anti-semantic. It is not meant to be racist but rather to give another viewpoint on the subject.
If Hitler had gain control of most of Europe, and continued to suppress those of Jewish decent, it would be very unlikely that the Zionist movement would have started in, what is now known as Israel. In fact, there wouldn’t be an Israel. The lives of millions of Palestinians would have been saved. There would be more peace (not completely peaceful, but definitely no fighting between Palestine and Israel) in the Middle East. This peace would save the lives of thousands of soldiers who have been sent to this area from all over the world.
But all this is speculation. We don’t know what would have happened. We don’t know if the flame that fuelled the Nazi party would have burned out in 5 years. We don’t know if he would have concurred the world. There is just too much we don’t know. And we can’t know because we don’t have the resources to find that out. What we can know is what is happening now. We know our own current culture better than our grandchildren ever will. With this knowledge we can look at the present and make evaluations on what is right and wrong for NOW¼Just like those living during WWII did.
If I had lived, with the knowledge that I have now, during the time of WWII, I may have been apposed to the war¼then again, I may not have been. I don’t know. The reason I don’ know is because I don’t understand what it was like to live during that time. What is often said about Hitler was that if America hadn’t have joined in the war when it did, the Nazi party could have taken over the whole world, causing persecution and general death everywhere. I don’t think this is likely. First of all, there is a limited number of sources that think Hitler wanted to concur North America. Secondly, the war had already started turning against the Nazi’s when America decided to come on board. These are factors I have not often heard discussed in a typical history lesson. Neither is what is about to follow. Forgive me if it sounds anti-semantic. It is not meant to be racist but rather to give another viewpoint on the subject.
If Hitler had gain control of most of Europe, and continued to suppress those of Jewish decent, it would be very unlikely that the Zionist movement would have started in, what is now known as Israel. In fact, there wouldn’t be an Israel. The lives of millions of Palestinians would have been saved. There would be more peace (not completely peaceful, but definitely no fighting between Palestine and Israel) in the Middle East. This peace would save the lives of thousands of soldiers who have been sent to this area from all over the world.
But all this is speculation. We don’t know what would have happened. We don’t know if the flame that fuelled the Nazi party would have burned out in 5 years. We don’t know if he would have concurred the world. There is just too much we don’t know. And we can’t know because we don’t have the resources to find that out. What we can know is what is happening now. We know our own current culture better than our grandchildren ever will. With this knowledge we can look at the present and make evaluations on what is right and wrong for NOW¼Just like those living during WWII did.
A time and a place for everything
I was reading an article, The Phantom Weapons... , which was written by an Iraqi girl. It broke my heart. She paints a picture of a life that isn't too dis-similar from my own, except, she is facing a war that threatens to destroy everything she knows. Can it be right to do this to a country? I've been asked many times if it was right to go to war against Hitler. I don't know. I didn't live during that time period. I can't just read the history books because, as GB Shaw says, "History tells lies, like always". The winner writes "the truth". So all i can judge on is what i see and understand now. I can only decide what is right and wrong for this moment. So...is it right for America to send troops over to Iraq? Well, if i judge by the american democratic way (greatest good for the greatest number of people), no. From the news i am getting, it seems that more people are living in fear now than they ever were before. More people are certainly dying now than they were under Sadam. True Sadam was not the nicest of leaders but the same could be said for bush. His tourture of non-americans in political prisons is terrifying. The implimenation of signed agreements to wave all personal rights of appeal on entry to the usa is rediculous! As so many poets have said, freedom is only an illusion.
Monday, January 17, 2005
ARG!
Get permenatant residency
Apply for job in Adventist system
Apply for job in non-Adventist System
finish project for becky
catch up with friends
Don't let family down
Don't forget friends
Write emails
Update blog
Pray
Make food
Go Shopping
Think ahead
Get reimbursed for luggage
Track down Qantas representatives
keep the room clean
Pay bills
Do work
finish internship
don't stress out
but whatever you do, don't drop the ball.
Apply for job in Adventist system
Apply for job in non-Adventist System
finish project for becky
catch up with friends
Don't let family down
Don't forget friends
Write emails
Update blog
Pray
Make food
Go Shopping
Think ahead
Get reimbursed for luggage
Track down Qantas representatives
keep the room clean
Pay bills
Do work
finish internship
don't stress out
but whatever you do, don't drop the ball.
Wednesday, January 12, 2005
My Baggage
Well, they found it, returned it, and washed their hands of it. Or at least that is probably what the airlines believe. My bag was returned yesterday with a GIANT hole in the side of it and the strap ripped off! My beautiful LEATHER bag is now unusable! (F&#$ing bastards) So now, i've got to find all the paper work and make a claim. grrrrr....it all takes up time and energy that i would rather spend on chris....er...i mean, working and school work....yeah! anyway...generally, i'm annoyed.
On a more exciting note. Melody will be arrive here in australia this Thursday. This means many things. Long talks. Late nights. Exciting work expiriences! and best of all, my twin back in the same country!
On a more exciting note. Melody will be arrive here in australia this Thursday. This means many things. Long talks. Late nights. Exciting work expiriences! and best of all, my twin back in the same country!
Sunday, January 09, 2005
Home again...well almost
We are back in Australia. I'm staying in the SAN for the moment. I'll be back at avondale in a couple of days.
The trip was interesting. When we checked in at Portland, the airline we were using agreed to check our baggage through, all the way to Sydney even though we were changing airlines in LA. When we got to LA we found out that we had to go through security to check ourselves in though and come all the way back through security which ended up taking almost 45 minutes. grrrr. Finally we make it to our terminal and board the plane (which is delayed for an hour). We are a little bit nervous because if the plane doesn't make it to Sydney by 11 pm the plane gets diverted and we have to go to Brisbane or Melbourne to spend the night and get up early Sunday to catch a flight into Sydney. oi! So in order to make it on time, the pilot goes extra fast. This causes A LOT of turbulence. Which means a lot of people on the plane get sick. I had a lot of fun. It was like riding a rollercoaster ride for 13 hours....okay, by the end it wasn't as much fun but it kept the ride interesting. All the jarring about actually made it easier for me to sleep. It was like getting rocked to sleep. Chris, however, didn't find the trip nearly as enjoyable. I think he was feeling a bit sick by the end of it himself. Anyway...We made it. As in Chris and I made it...Sadly our luggage was not so lucky. We were able to get our bag of warm winter clothes here but all our books, and chrissy presents are lost somewhere. Hopefully the airline will find them and get the bag to us today. But we have to call them to tell them where to deliver the bag...oh damn! I was supposed to call! I've got to go.
The trip was interesting. When we checked in at Portland, the airline we were using agreed to check our baggage through, all the way to Sydney even though we were changing airlines in LA. When we got to LA we found out that we had to go through security to check ourselves in though and come all the way back through security which ended up taking almost 45 minutes. grrrr. Finally we make it to our terminal and board the plane (which is delayed for an hour). We are a little bit nervous because if the plane doesn't make it to Sydney by 11 pm the plane gets diverted and we have to go to Brisbane or Melbourne to spend the night and get up early Sunday to catch a flight into Sydney. oi! So in order to make it on time, the pilot goes extra fast. This causes A LOT of turbulence. Which means a lot of people on the plane get sick. I had a lot of fun. It was like riding a rollercoaster ride for 13 hours....okay, by the end it wasn't as much fun but it kept the ride interesting. All the jarring about actually made it easier for me to sleep. It was like getting rocked to sleep. Chris, however, didn't find the trip nearly as enjoyable. I think he was feeling a bit sick by the end of it himself. Anyway...We made it. As in Chris and I made it...Sadly our luggage was not so lucky. We were able to get our bag of warm winter clothes here but all our books, and chrissy presents are lost somewhere. Hopefully the airline will find them and get the bag to us today. But we have to call them to tell them where to deliver the bag...oh damn! I was supposed to call! I've got to go.
Friday, January 07, 2005
surprise!
Last weekend a friend showed up at my house whom i wasn't expecting to see. Some of you may know him as the American Jesus, others just call him Brandon. Either way, i was more than a little suprised when my sister was followed into the house by the last person i expected to see. I was more than a little shocked. In fact, i don't think i said more than "Brandon!!!" for the next hour. It was great to have him here. He stayed for New Years while we lit fireworks. Then came to church with us and dealt well with my parents showing him off. (they were actually showing me, my siblings, my boyfriend, and all friends off...there was no discrimination on the humiliation) But everyone had fun. He stayed sunday while we played games and watched movies all day long and stayed Monday while we did more of the same! it was great! It hurt terribly when we had to say goodbye. No one likes to see friends leave, but it is always worse when you don't know when you'll say hello again. However, i suppose it is all for the best, i mean, Becky and he were getting a bit too friendly. (they slept together the last night he was here).
Saturday, January 01, 2005
life, i think.
So Chris and i have been in the usa for something close to a month. we've gone sledding, swimming (in an indoor pool), out to a movie (or two), and we've discussed the disgraceful ability of the US media to turn a disastor in Asia into a story about the USA. It could be just me, but i'm pretty sure that the usa is paranoid that an event might happen that they have had no control over and has had nothing to do with them directly. We have gotten more coverage here on little boys giving all their money (all $35 in change) to the relief effert and families of missing tourists then of what actually happened. It is really amazing! But even as the US media pats america on the back for being such a giving and concerned nation, full of charity and help, it shows pictures of soldiers killing people in falusia (sp?) and tells stories of those Palestinians who should give Israel the Gaza Strip, because they are obviously taking up too much land for themselves. I can't believe the kind of double-speak we have happening here! Can no one see that death by drowning is no more pitiable than death by gun??
Friday, December 24, 2004
a brief update
I've not posted anything in ages. So i'm thinking i probably owe an entry. So here's what i've been up to.
First: Surprised my father with a visit to america. His jaw hit the floor, blounced and then came the tears. (not from the jaw but from the eyes)
next surprised my bro in Idaho. He did the same thing except, no tears. We spent a week in idaho where we visited many of my friends and went to a wedding. I was very disappointed that i only had time to see people once, but my schedule was so busy, i only had time to see people once.
We left idaho, kidnapping Jenne (a friend from high school) and taking her with us back to oregon. We got here just in time for more a visit from my mother's brother and his family. That was nice, i haven't seen them in several years.
This morning, we put Jenne on a plane and sent her back to idaho. I tried to be strong, but alas, i cried. i miss everyone so much. I hate to say goodbye but time still rushes on...so goodbye.
First: Surprised my father with a visit to america. His jaw hit the floor, blounced and then came the tears. (not from the jaw but from the eyes)
next surprised my bro in Idaho. He did the same thing except, no tears. We spent a week in idaho where we visited many of my friends and went to a wedding. I was very disappointed that i only had time to see people once, but my schedule was so busy, i only had time to see people once.
We left idaho, kidnapping Jenne (a friend from high school) and taking her with us back to oregon. We got here just in time for more a visit from my mother's brother and his family. That was nice, i haven't seen them in several years.
This morning, we put Jenne on a plane and sent her back to idaho. I tried to be strong, but alas, i cried. i miss everyone so much. I hate to say goodbye but time still rushes on...so goodbye.
Thursday, December 02, 2004
Goodbye
Well, this morning i said goodbye to Becky. I hate saying goodbye. There were tears all around, well, actually i don't think the guys cried, it was just Adele, Bec, and I. I didn't want her to go. I still don't. I would love for her to stay here in australia until...well...until forever. She doesn't have to live with me, or even right next door to me, but it would be very nice if i had better access to her year-round. Oh well...i'm sure mum and dad feel the same way. Maybe i can convience Mike to come down here now that becky is back in the states....
Monday, November 29, 2004
A letter from the Home Office to the People of America
The following was stolen from Melody's Mind Cave. (sorry mel). It was too good to pass up. Please realise that this entry is said with tongue in cheek and ENJOY!
A letter from the Home Office to the People of America
In the light of your failure to elect a suitable President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of Your independence, effective today. Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories. Except Utah, which she does not fancy.
Your new prime minister (The Right Honourable Tony Blair MP; for the 97.85% of you who have until now been unaware that there is a world outside your borders) will appoint a minister for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded.
A questionnaire will be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.
To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:
1. You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then look up "aluminium". Check the pronunciation guide.
You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. The letter "U" will be reinstated in words such as "favour" and "neighbour", skipping the letter "U" is nothing more than laziness on your part.
Likewise, you will learn to spell "doughnut" without skipping half the letters.You will end your love affair with the letter "Z" (pronounced "zed" not "zee") and the suffix "ize" will be replaced by the suffix "ise". You will learn that the suffix "burgh" is pronounced "burra" e.g. Edinburgh.
You are welcome to respell Pittsburgh as 'Pittsberg' if you can't cope with correct pronunciation.Generally, you should raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up "vocabulary". Using the same twenty seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication.
Look up "interspersed". There will be no more 'bleeps' in the Jerry Springer show. If you're not old enough to cope with bad language then you shouldn't have chat shows. When you learn to develop your vocabulary then you won't have to use bad language as often.
2. There is no such thing as "US English". We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take account of the reinstated letter "u" and the elimination of "-ize".
3. You should learn to distinguish the English and Australian accents. It really isn't that hard.English accents are not limited to Cockney, upper-class twit or Mancunian (Daphne in Frasier).
You will also have to learn how to understand regional accents - Scottish dramas such as "Taggart" will no longer be broadcast with subtitles. While we're talking about regions, you must learn that there is no such place as Devonshire in England. The name of the county is "Devon". If you persist in calling it Devonshire, all American States will become "shires" e.g. Texasshire, Floridashire, Louisianashire.
4. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as the good guys. Hollywood will be required to cast English actors to play English characters. British sit-coms such as "Men Behaving Badly" or "Red Dwarf" will not be re-cast and watered down for a wishy-washy American audience who can't cope with the humour of occasional political incorrectness.
5. You should relearn your original national anthem, "God Save The Queen",but only after fully carrying out task 1. We would not want you to getconfused and give up half way through.
6. You should stop playing American "football". There is only one kind of football. What you refer to as American "football" is not a very good game.
The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world outside your borders may have noticed that no one else plays "American" football. You will no longer be allowed to play it, and should instead play proper football.
Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls. It is a difficult game. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which is similar to American "football", but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full Kevlar body armour likenancies).
We are hoping to get together at least a US rugby sevens a side by 2005.You should stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the 'World Series' for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.15% of you are aware that there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable.
Instead of baseball, you will be allowed to play a girls' game called "rounders" which is baseball without fancy team strip, oversized gloves, collector cards or hotdogs.
7. You should declare war on Quebec and France, using nuclear weapons if they give you any merde.
The 97.85% of you who were not aware that there is a world outside your borders should count yourselves lucky. The Russians have never been the bad guys. "Merde" is French for "Shit". French is the first language of a country called France which is in Europe. Europe is one of the continents in the world other than your own.
8. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 2nd will be a new national holiday, but only in England. It will be called "Indecisive Day".
9. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and it is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean.
All road intersections will be replaced with roundabouts. You will start driving on the left with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.
10. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips.
Fries aren't even French, they are Belgian though 97.85% of you (including the guy who discovered fries while in Europe) are not aware of a country called Belgium.Those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called "crisps". Real chips are thick cut and fried in animal fat. The traditional accompaniment to chips is beer which should be served warm and flat. Waitresses will be trained to be more aggressive with customers.
11. As a sign of penance 5 grams of sea salt per cup will be added to all tea made within the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, this quantity to be doubled for tea made within the city of Boston itself.
12. The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all, it is lager.From November 1st only proper British Bitter will be referred to as "beer", and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as "Lager".
13. From December 1st the UK will harmonise petrol (or "Gasoline" as you will be permitted to keep calling it until April 1st 2005) prices with the former USA. The UK will harmonise its prices to those of the former USA and the Former USA will, in return, adopt UK petrol prices (roughly $6/US gallon - get used to it).
14. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers or therapists.The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not adult enough to be independent. Guns should only be handled by adults. If you're not adult enough to sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist then you're not grown up enough to handle a gun.
15. Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us crazy.
Tax collectors from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all revenues due (backdated to 1776).
Thank you for your cooperation.And this ought to teach you Americans not to abuse the right to vote.
A letter from the Home Office to the People of America
In the light of your failure to elect a suitable President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of Your independence, effective today. Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories. Except Utah, which she does not fancy.
Your new prime minister (The Right Honourable Tony Blair MP; for the 97.85% of you who have until now been unaware that there is a world outside your borders) will appoint a minister for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded.
A questionnaire will be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.
To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:
1. You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then look up "aluminium". Check the pronunciation guide.
You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. The letter "U" will be reinstated in words such as "favour" and "neighbour", skipping the letter "U" is nothing more than laziness on your part.
Likewise, you will learn to spell "doughnut" without skipping half the letters.You will end your love affair with the letter "Z" (pronounced "zed" not "zee") and the suffix "ize" will be replaced by the suffix "ise". You will learn that the suffix "burgh" is pronounced "burra" e.g. Edinburgh.
You are welcome to respell Pittsburgh as 'Pittsberg' if you can't cope with correct pronunciation.Generally, you should raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up "vocabulary". Using the same twenty seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication.
Look up "interspersed". There will be no more 'bleeps' in the Jerry Springer show. If you're not old enough to cope with bad language then you shouldn't have chat shows. When you learn to develop your vocabulary then you won't have to use bad language as often.
2. There is no such thing as "US English". We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take account of the reinstated letter "u" and the elimination of "-ize".
3. You should learn to distinguish the English and Australian accents. It really isn't that hard.English accents are not limited to Cockney, upper-class twit or Mancunian (Daphne in Frasier).
You will also have to learn how to understand regional accents - Scottish dramas such as "Taggart" will no longer be broadcast with subtitles. While we're talking about regions, you must learn that there is no such place as Devonshire in England. The name of the county is "Devon". If you persist in calling it Devonshire, all American States will become "shires" e.g. Texasshire, Floridashire, Louisianashire.
4. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as the good guys. Hollywood will be required to cast English actors to play English characters. British sit-coms such as "Men Behaving Badly" or "Red Dwarf" will not be re-cast and watered down for a wishy-washy American audience who can't cope with the humour of occasional political incorrectness.
5. You should relearn your original national anthem, "God Save The Queen",but only after fully carrying out task 1. We would not want you to getconfused and give up half way through.
6. You should stop playing American "football". There is only one kind of football. What you refer to as American "football" is not a very good game.
The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world outside your borders may have noticed that no one else plays "American" football. You will no longer be allowed to play it, and should instead play proper football.
Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls. It is a difficult game. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which is similar to American "football", but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full Kevlar body armour likenancies).
We are hoping to get together at least a US rugby sevens a side by 2005.You should stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the 'World Series' for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.15% of you are aware that there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable.
Instead of baseball, you will be allowed to play a girls' game called "rounders" which is baseball without fancy team strip, oversized gloves, collector cards or hotdogs.
7. You should declare war on Quebec and France, using nuclear weapons if they give you any merde.
The 97.85% of you who were not aware that there is a world outside your borders should count yourselves lucky. The Russians have never been the bad guys. "Merde" is French for "Shit". French is the first language of a country called France which is in Europe. Europe is one of the continents in the world other than your own.
8. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 2nd will be a new national holiday, but only in England. It will be called "Indecisive Day".
9. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and it is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean.
All road intersections will be replaced with roundabouts. You will start driving on the left with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.
10. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips.
Fries aren't even French, they are Belgian though 97.85% of you (including the guy who discovered fries while in Europe) are not aware of a country called Belgium.Those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called "crisps". Real chips are thick cut and fried in animal fat. The traditional accompaniment to chips is beer which should be served warm and flat. Waitresses will be trained to be more aggressive with customers.
11. As a sign of penance 5 grams of sea salt per cup will be added to all tea made within the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, this quantity to be doubled for tea made within the city of Boston itself.
12. The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all, it is lager.From November 1st only proper British Bitter will be referred to as "beer", and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as "Lager".
13. From December 1st the UK will harmonise petrol (or "Gasoline" as you will be permitted to keep calling it until April 1st 2005) prices with the former USA. The UK will harmonise its prices to those of the former USA and the Former USA will, in return, adopt UK petrol prices (roughly $6/US gallon - get used to it).
14. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers or therapists.The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not adult enough to be independent. Guns should only be handled by adults. If you're not adult enough to sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist then you're not grown up enough to handle a gun.
15. Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us crazy.
Tax collectors from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all revenues due (backdated to 1776).
Thank you for your cooperation.And this ought to teach you Americans not to abuse the right to vote.
Friday, November 26, 2004
I'm DONE!
Guess what everyone! I'm finished with exams! I just finished (moments ago) and i'm now ready to....wait...i'm not ready to do anything...i want to go to bed. That sounds like a better idea than planning where i'm going to live for the summer, packing boxes, or even snogging Chris! [oh my!] Goodnight everyone...i hope to meet you all in my dreams!
Wednesday, November 24, 2004
my rant for the day
After doing a bit of searching, I have been unable to find any social justice blogs worth mentioning. I can find some serious political blogs but I still fail to find what I'm really looking for. So maybe I'll be the small voice that cries out for social awareness. PLEASE PLEASE realise your impact on the world. We only have one world, we all are one people. Don't just leave all the work up to god because, by the look of things god has left the solar-system.
Then again, you probably don't care. You have things to do. You have events to plan for. You can't take time out to worry about the family in Iraq, the starving Asians, or the aids victims in Africa...These are all far away. Let someone else worry about them.
Its funny, as I was growing up I often thought that the holidays season was supposed to be about being nice to those who were less fortunate than I. Today I think it has always really been about reminding myself how lucky I am not to be one of those "other" people. I don't like this ideology. I'm starting to think the whole holiday season is just bollocks!
Then again, you probably don't care. You have things to do. You have events to plan for. You can't take time out to worry about the family in Iraq, the starving Asians, or the aids victims in Africa...These are all far away. Let someone else worry about them.
Its funny, as I was growing up I often thought that the holidays season was supposed to be about being nice to those who were less fortunate than I. Today I think it has always really been about reminding myself how lucky I am not to be one of those "other" people. I don't like this ideology. I'm starting to think the whole holiday season is just bollocks!
Monday, November 22, 2004
Friday, November 19, 2004
set, lights, and videotape
I have recently finished my 3 minute short film. i would like to say it is Oscar material, but i think i would be lucky if it were tropfest material. I do like it and it says exactly what i want it to say, but...i suppose an ethical stance on war is probably not the most popular thing to be saying right now.
I was reading this article and it said the most common cause of world hunger was war. There was a protest in America against the Palistinian and Israeli conflict a while back. One of the posters said, "Today I helped Kill a Palistinian. If you pay taxes, so did you!" It is horrifying to think the country that so loudly promotes Christianity, so lavishly spills (or helps to spill) blood on the basis of enthic cleansing, racial discrimination, or greed.
Sorry if i have offended anyone...but as the song says, "paranoina strikes deep".....
I was reading this article and it said the most common cause of world hunger was war. There was a protest in America against the Palistinian and Israeli conflict a while back. One of the posters said, "Today I helped Kill a Palistinian. If you pay taxes, so did you!" It is horrifying to think the country that so loudly promotes Christianity, so lavishly spills (or helps to spill) blood on the basis of enthic cleansing, racial discrimination, or greed.
Sorry if i have offended anyone...but as the song says, "paranoina strikes deep".....
Tuesday, November 09, 2004
Thankful
For the last two days i've been running around mad, like a chicken with its headcut off, trying to get a major project for one of my classes done. As i would run between one building and the next i would pray, begging God to help me get the project done on time. Well i guess God didn't have the power to help me squeeze 5 weeks of work into 3 days...but he did have the power to convience the lecturer to extend the due date til 22 Nov. WoW! so much time! Believe me, i'm not waisting my time. I'm working quite hard at writing this blog....searching for pics on the net (for my project, HONEST!)....and um...eating...
So keeping with the working hard tradition...i'm going to lunch!
So keeping with the working hard tradition...i'm going to lunch!
Monday, November 01, 2004
living on borrowed time
I currently have an essay due today (which i have an extention til wednesday for) an essay due tomorrow, a major project due sometime in the next few days and i'm typing a blog entry! WTF am i doing!???
oh...um...Got to go.
oh...um...Got to go.
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