Have you ever noticed that magazines are always asking celebrities what the secret to a long and happy marriage is? What is it about celebrities that makes us think they will have the answers? They are celebrities! Their marriages last all of 10 minutes.

Sometimes magazines decide to get "serious" and bring in "experts" on the subject. Ever read their advice? "Do this and he'll love you forever." or "Try this position in bed and he'll be your bedroom slave for a month!" Isn't there more to a relationship then sex?

The church doesn't seem to have any better answers. When inquiring minds ask, they are told that sex belongs in marriage. It is a wonderful answer, too bad it doesn't answer the question. I want some practicality. What is the balance between physical intimacy and an intimate friendship? If there isn't a balance how do you juggle the two? The church's favourite answer to this seems to be, "wait until marriage to explore this." This doesn't help in a practical way because holding hands, hugging, and even tickling are all part of a physical intimacy. If I were to go strictly by what the church says, I would not be touching at all. I don't think I've met a pastor, teacher, or church officer who has not done any of these things before marriage.

I guess my complaint is that there has been so many people who have gone before me. They have the experience. They have the spiritual walk with God to balance their response. They should know how it is supposed to work. They can tell me where the lines, balances, and juggling occurs. So why is it that drawing this information out is so difficult?