Friday, December 24, 2004
First: Surprised my father with a visit to america. His jaw hit the floor, blounced and then came the tears. (not from the jaw but from the eyes)
next surprised my bro in Idaho. He did the same thing except, no tears. We spent a week in idaho where we visited many of my friends and went to a wedding. I was very disappointed that i only had time to see people once, but my schedule was so busy, i only had time to see people once.
We left idaho, kidnapping Jenne (a friend from high school) and taking her with us back to oregon. We got here just in time for more a visit from my mother's brother and his family. That was nice, i haven't seen them in several years.
This morning, we put Jenne on a plane and sent her back to idaho. I tried to be strong, but alas, i cried. i miss everyone so much. I hate to say goodbye but time still rushes on...so goodbye.
Thursday, December 02, 2004
Monday, November 29, 2004
A letter from the Home Office to the People of America
In the light of your failure to elect a suitable President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of Your independence, effective today. Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories. Except Utah, which she does not fancy.
Your new prime minister (The Right Honourable Tony Blair MP; for the 97.85% of you who have until now been unaware that there is a world outside your borders) will appoint a minister for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded.
A questionnaire will be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.
To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:
1. You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then look up "aluminium". Check the pronunciation guide.
You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. The letter "U" will be reinstated in words such as "favour" and "neighbour", skipping the letter "U" is nothing more than laziness on your part.
Likewise, you will learn to spell "doughnut" without skipping half the letters.You will end your love affair with the letter "Z" (pronounced "zed" not "zee") and the suffix "ize" will be replaced by the suffix "ise". You will learn that the suffix "burgh" is pronounced "burra" e.g. Edinburgh.
You are welcome to respell Pittsburgh as 'Pittsberg' if you can't cope with correct pronunciation.Generally, you should raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up "vocabulary". Using the same twenty seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication.
Look up "interspersed". There will be no more 'bleeps' in the Jerry Springer show. If you're not old enough to cope with bad language then you shouldn't have chat shows. When you learn to develop your vocabulary then you won't have to use bad language as often.
2. There is no such thing as "US English". We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take account of the reinstated letter "u" and the elimination of "-ize".
3. You should learn to distinguish the English and Australian accents. It really isn't that hard.English accents are not limited to Cockney, upper-class twit or Mancunian (Daphne in Frasier).
You will also have to learn how to understand regional accents - Scottish dramas such as "Taggart" will no longer be broadcast with subtitles. While we're talking about regions, you must learn that there is no such place as Devonshire in England. The name of the county is "Devon". If you persist in calling it Devonshire, all American States will become "shires" e.g. Texasshire, Floridashire, Louisianashire.
4. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as the good guys. Hollywood will be required to cast English actors to play English characters. British sit-coms such as "Men Behaving Badly" or "Red Dwarf" will not be re-cast and watered down for a wishy-washy American audience who can't cope with the humour of occasional political incorrectness.
5. You should relearn your original national anthem, "God Save The Queen",but only after fully carrying out task 1. We would not want you to getconfused and give up half way through.
6. You should stop playing American "football". There is only one kind of football. What you refer to as American "football" is not a very good game.
The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world outside your borders may have noticed that no one else plays "American" football. You will no longer be allowed to play it, and should instead play proper football.
Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls. It is a difficult game. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which is similar to American "football", but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full Kevlar body armour likenancies).
We are hoping to get together at least a US rugby sevens a side by 2005.You should stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the 'World Series' for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.15% of you are aware that there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable.
Instead of baseball, you will be allowed to play a girls' game called "rounders" which is baseball without fancy team strip, oversized gloves, collector cards or hotdogs.
7. You should declare war on Quebec and France, using nuclear weapons if they give you any merde.
The 97.85% of you who were not aware that there is a world outside your borders should count yourselves lucky. The Russians have never been the bad guys. "Merde" is French for "Shit". French is the first language of a country called France which is in Europe. Europe is one of the continents in the world other than your own.
8. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 2nd will be a new national holiday, but only in England. It will be called "Indecisive Day".
9. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and it is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean.
All road intersections will be replaced with roundabouts. You will start driving on the left with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.
10. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips.
Fries aren't even French, they are Belgian though 97.85% of you (including the guy who discovered fries while in Europe) are not aware of a country called Belgium.Those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called "crisps". Real chips are thick cut and fried in animal fat. The traditional accompaniment to chips is beer which should be served warm and flat. Waitresses will be trained to be more aggressive with customers.
11. As a sign of penance 5 grams of sea salt per cup will be added to all tea made within the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, this quantity to be doubled for tea made within the city of Boston itself.
12. The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all, it is lager.From November 1st only proper British Bitter will be referred to as "beer", and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as "Lager".
13. From December 1st the UK will harmonise petrol (or "Gasoline" as you will be permitted to keep calling it until April 1st 2005) prices with the former USA. The UK will harmonise its prices to those of the former USA and the Former USA will, in return, adopt UK petrol prices (roughly $6/US gallon - get used to it).
14. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers or therapists.The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not adult enough to be independent. Guns should only be handled by adults. If you're not adult enough to sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist then you're not grown up enough to handle a gun.
15. Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us crazy.
Tax collectors from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all revenues due (backdated to 1776).
Thank you for your cooperation.And this ought to teach you Americans not to abuse the right to vote.
Friday, November 26, 2004
Wednesday, November 24, 2004
Then again, you probably don't care. You have things to do. You have events to plan for. You can't take time out to worry about the family in Iraq, the starving Asians, or the aids victims in Africa...These are all far away. Let someone else worry about them.
Its funny, as I was growing up I often thought that the holidays season was supposed to be about being nice to those who were less fortunate than I. Today I think it has always really been about reminding myself how lucky I am not to be one of those "other" people. I don't like this ideology. I'm starting to think the whole holiday season is just bollocks!
Monday, November 22, 2004
Friday, November 19, 2004
I was reading this article and it said the most common cause of world hunger was war. There was a protest in America against the Palistinian and Israeli conflict a while back. One of the posters said, "Today I helped Kill a Palistinian. If you pay taxes, so did you!" It is horrifying to think the country that so loudly promotes Christianity, so lavishly spills (or helps to spill) blood on the basis of enthic cleansing, racial discrimination, or greed.
Sorry if i have offended anyone...but as the song says, "paranoina strikes deep".....
Tuesday, November 09, 2004
So keeping with the working hard tradition...i'm going to lunch!
Monday, November 01, 2004
Monday, October 25, 2004
Thursday, October 21, 2004
I have never considered myself particularly socially minded. In fact, I would say that most of the time, I am happily unaware of the abuses to developing countries that happen because of western politics and industry. Lately, this has started to change. I'm beginning to see that there is a connection between my faith and need for social ethics. I can no longer sit back and be merely shocked by what is happening. I demand that my senses be raw and I feel the pain of others. My affluent lifestyle should not numb me to basic human empathy
Friday, October 15, 2004
Maybe you all have already looked at my pictures...perfectly possible that you clicked on the link, saw the pictures and moved on. But no one has left a comment saying, "i saw the pictures and i really liked the one with you and the thumb." I have heard nothing...from anyone, not even my own family! Sigh....that is okay...i know that you all are just very busy people and just don't have time to look at my pictures....[sniff sniff] its okay, i'm not hurt at all.
Tuesday, October 12, 2004
Sunday, October 10, 2004
Day 2: Got up and rang the night manager again. He answered the phone and i said, "we've been here since one and since you didn't answer the phone we slept in the car." His reply: "Oh SHIT!" He let us in, we went up to our rooms and slept...for an hour. Started moving properly at noon. Had food, and started our 1.5 hour trip to Brisbane to return rental car. Returned rental and took public transport back...it took us 5.5 hours to get back. [side note: Waiting for Queensland public transport to come is like giving a eunuch a blowjob.] we finally get back to our hotel at 8:30 in the evening. We go to bed.
Day 3: We are tired of traveling. We sleep, watch TV, and read, all day long. Becky leaves the hotel room once to pick up the chocolates left for us by the night manager. Other then that, we don't leave.
Day 4: Swimming and beach walks are on the agenda. We find out that there is a slippery slide in the pool of our hotel. I find out that Becky is scared of slippery slides. hehehehe
Day 5: We decide public transport was created by the mentally deranged and we hire a car for the day. We go to Movie World. Heaps of fun. We ride rolercoasters, watch street shows, and check out Warner Bro.'s set for various movies. On the way back to our hotel, we get sidetracked and end up going through Brisbane in the middle of rush-hour traffic. We get back to our hotel at 8. Almost immediately i go to bed.
Day 6: Travel all the way back to Brisbane with the night manager who forgot to wake up on our arrival. He dropped us at the trainstation and we ride the train all the way to airport. We wait for the plane. Get on the plane. Land, get off, rush to meet a train. Becky gets off at Horsby and goes to work. I change trains and come all the way back to college.
Monday, September 27, 2004
nervous twitches in fingers, knees, feet, and toes.
Head still pounding.
Eye lids drooping.
One more blog...
Tuesday, September 21, 2004
Tuesday, September 07, 2004
It has gotten to the point that it is painful to know that God is so near and I am so unwilling or unable to contact Him. The pain wakes me up in the morning and I numb it by turning on the radio. I keep my anaesthesia going all the way to the shower when I busy myself with what to do for the day until I can make it back to my anaesthesia.
This morning was different. The anaesthesia didn't help. It actually made it worse. I needed some relief. I found my way to the floor and with head on the bed I asked for help. I said I didn't know who to talk to, but I needed someone. I just needed to get through the day and feel somehow connected again. Nothing happened.
I got an email later that morning. Dad said "we need to talk". So I rang him first chance i got. We chatted about this and that and finally he asked, "How is your spiritual life?" My father has never before in my memory asked me that. I didn't want to tell him. Somehow though, I didn't want to lie. I told him it wasn't good, but i didn't go into detail. Somehow he knew what to say, though. He told me that I'm never alone. God is going to be there with me. Whatever happens to trust the plans that He has placed in my heart. He has put them there for a reason and not to give up on them. Most of all not to give up on Him.
Coincidence? It could be. But I choose to see it as devine intervention when i needed it most. Maybe I am being naive, maybe I'm giving God too much credit, or maybe not enough, but either way, somehow I was touched.I know I felt God's fingers brush away my tears and tenderly caress my heart.
Thursday, September 02, 2004
Monday, August 23, 2004
Tuesday, August 17, 2004
In other more exciting news, Becky is settling in well. She is getting used to the language but still occasionally has a blank look on her face until I or Chris translated into American.
One more note: I would just like to thank everyone who has called me a skank in the last few days. I love you all so much. [please note the sarcastic tone]
Tuesday, August 10, 2004
Becky seems to be settling in as well as she can with an older sister who is insane and living across the hall from her. She is coping with the lingo as well as most people do on their first day. In other words she is nodding her head and smiling but not really understanding what Taylor and Casey are saying at all.
Last night was the big get-to-know-the-new-Americans night. We ate damper and drank Milo. It was heaps of fun but I suspect that Becky was only thinking of her bed. Jet lag can be nasty.
Well, I'm off to go help the dear girl assimilate into the Aussie culture!
Monday, August 09, 2004
So now, she is arriving in less then an hour and I won't be there to welcome her in! I'm very disappointed. What do I do with my self for the next three hours?? Can I sleep? Probably not. Could I watch a movie? Possibly, but I won't concentrate on it. The truth is I wanted to be the big sister who picks her little sis up from the airport and now, well, I get to be the big dope who missed the bus.
Friday, August 06, 2004
Sunday, August 01, 2004
Now that i've made contact with mum, i can now get ready for my sister's arrival. I've started decorating her room (sshhhh, don't tell her). I actually need to take some pictures of it before she gets here and post them somewhere...i'll figure out where and how later...anyway, Then i need to take photos of when she sees the room! HEHEHEHE! I've put special effert into making the room...um..."friendly". She'll either love it or hate it...i'm hoping for hate because i don't particularly want to see some of the stuff i've put in there every time i visit her room. (that should probably give you a decient guess at how bad it is)
ooo! i think my laundry's done! got to go everyone. We'll speak again next time on, THE WIERD AND BIZARRE !
Saturday, July 31, 2004
Thursday, July 29, 2004
I probably won't ever make a good politition...well, then again, Winston Churchill had his fair share of harsh come backs so maybe my dream of becoming the next world dictator can come true yet!
Friday, July 23, 2004
Thursday, July 15, 2004
I am looking forward to college starting again in a few weeks though. HURRAY for school work...[umm...Maybe I need a therapist]
Monday, July 12, 2004
We were set to go snorkeling at Lion Island. (this whole beginning bit is not romantic, so it is going to get only a small passing reference as I skip on to the romantic bits.) We left late, we arrived late, they had to call the boat back for us and we got there in time to do about 1.5 hours of snorkeling before lunch.
So we get on the island, we put on our gear and get into the water. Chris and I are (OBVIOUSLY!) paired up. He and I hold hands as we watch colourful fish dart this way and that under us. We see many different types of coral and a few sea slugs. Some times the waves make it hard to stay close but we keep pulling eachother back together when we fear the waves...and sometimes when we don't. (can I get an "AWWWWW!"?) We do a couple of dives where we attempt to touch a fish or two or sometimes just see what is under the coral and rock. It is when we are just heading out of the water when we spot a long thin fish. It is about 1.5 feet long and nearly translucent. He (or maybe she) is floated with the current and not expending much energy at all. We move closer. It moves away. It looks like a snake. (See mum, I can even find snakes in the water!!) It isn't a snake though...We follow it until it heads too far out for us to be bothered following it.
We head back to shore. Both of us take a swig of water before challenging eachother with silly tricks in the sand. It doesn't take long before I'm too sandy and get back into the water to wash off.The water is warm so I sit down and let the waves push me around for a bit. Chris joins me and we sit on the clear blue water talking until one of us (I think it is me) gets the bright idea to start a water fight. The water is too salty for it to last long and we go back to talking. Finally Chris stands up. "Okay," he declares, "I'm done." Just then the boat arrives to take us to another island for lunch. (What timing!!!)
So we go to lunch, eat omelets, rice, and pumkin...hmmmm. Admittedly not a romantic lunch. Lunch finishes and Chris and I (and David and Sharona) head up to the top of the Island. From the top we can see ocean in every direction. Chris and I (and only Chris and I) walk to the very end of the island before heading back. We are standing on the top of the island, the wind whipping around us (and unromantically nearly ripping my sarong off!!) when he pulls me close and gives me a long kiss. WOW! All that was missing was a camera crew with cameras moving around us and a director screaming, "CUT!"
So there it is, my most romantic day.
Friday, June 25, 2004
I'm sure you all are saying, "it is about bloody time she got her act together and put something new on!" Actually, in all truth, there probably isn't anyone here at all. I haven't published anything new in such a long long long time that it is just CRAZY! Well, i'm currently waiting for my DVD to burn so now i've got TIME!!! HURRAY!
I have spent the last week trying to get this DVD to burn...has it burned?? no. Why? Simple, the computers hate me. I'm not exactly sure why this is, but it might have something to do with the fact that i walk in every morning and say "Goodmorning, you ****ing computers. I really really really hate you today!"
It is truely surprising how terrible my mood is after fighting these computers for a week straight.
Wednesday, March 10, 2004
The problem of course with this, is now I have to come up with something interesting to say. So here is my attempt. I have just finished coming out of my drama class. It is fascinating how different the director of this class is to pretty much every other director I've worked with. This lady knows what she is looking for, but has a terrible time doing it herself. In other words, she doesn't give very good examples. On the plus side, this causes us to try different things we didn't know we could do before. I'm quite excited because although I didn't get the part I wanted, I did get a part that will make the whole thing rather interesting for me. I suppose I should fill you in on what the heck I'm talking about....
We are performing The Merchant of Venice. I auditioned for the part of Shylock. I didn't get it. What I got instead was the part of Lancelot, the clown. (don't say it...Don't even say it)
well, after a very interesting time mucking around on stage, I think I've reached performance exhaustion. This is really sad because we only went for an hour and a half, and we normally will be going for 2 hours once a week. I've got to build up my stamina!