Thursday, June 26, 2008

the female breakdown

Academics are studying three of the most written about public figures of our age:Britney Spears, Lindsey Lohan and Amy Winehouse. These academics are looking for reasons why media swarm around them in their moments of trauma...unlike the way the media reacts to their male counterparts.

One suggestion is that every story about these women is a "cautionary tale". It tells women they can not have a family and a profession.

Another theory is that readers like to see celebrities who "have it all" loose it a bit because it helps them feel better about themselves.

Personally i like the theory that these are cautionary tales. While i can see many male celebrities have similar break downs, i don't see the media fuss over them like they have these women. Women are expected to be able to "hold it together"and when they can't, it only goes to "prove" that women can not lead a "man's life". (there were too may "" in that sentence. forgive me) This in turns put women back into the role of passive observers and obedient buyers.

"Britney's having trouble with the courts again. She can't take care of herself. I can though, and i'll prove it by buying face cream. See i'm caring about how i look. If i were her, i'd never go out looking like that"

We might not go through that exact thought process, but the result is meant to be similar. Tabloids are not about selling stories, but selling advertisements. The stories are there to help guide readers to the products.

But what is your theory? Do you think these are cautionary tales? or are they simply a random coincidence of women's meltdown?

so we're workin' on it

yet again i confess my devotion to joss whedon...i'm sure he would be a little creeped out to know a complete stranger is "devoted" to him...but hey, he produces good shit!

Monday, June 23, 2008

fun with tax papers

After spending 3 hours on my taxes (for my country of birth), i have realised something. My country of birth has dyslexic and confused people working in their highest levels of taxation.

It is the only explanation i can come to for the reasoning behind the way the forms are presented. They start out reasonable. "start at the top", but about a third of the way down they go into a strange vortex of obscurity. "Add line 41 and 34 minus line 62 on form 3311" Your frantic scrambling to find each line only ends in frustration as you realise you have not yet begun form 3311 and can not go further on your current form until you work part of the way through the other form. You begin form 3311 only to discover that on line 22, you will need to subtract your total income from your first form with any deductions from form 4231.

By this time you've probably lost the first form, but don't worry, its probably under that 6 foot stack of papers you may or may not need to fill out the next form.

Needless to say, i dislike tax time.

Thursday, June 19, 2008

We now return to our regular posts

About a week ago i joined the gym. I have thrown myself into a work out program with the force of a wrecking ball. Two hours a day i train. I am determined to train hard every day of the week.

I have known this day was coming for quite some time. I've talked about it to my husband and to a few friends, yet, the reaction to my new drive has been met with an assumption that i was a little taken back by.

You see, i recognise the fact that i have the upper body of Pamela Anderson and the butt of Roseanne Bar but i'm happy with that. I don't feel a need to loose weight. I do feel the need to get my body toned up for an overseas trip in which i will have to keep up with my mother. (which has generally been difficult since i was about 5) She has energy reserves that she keeps in her purse. On more than one occasion, i've wondered if my mother is really a robot. Or maybe the energiser bunny in disguise. So before i go on this trip, i wanted to be sure i am fit enough to go shopping with her. This means training.

Yet, at every turn, i am asked how much weight i want to loose. There is an assumption that the only reason i am training is to drop a dress size. I can't decide if the reason for this assumption is because people honestly view me as "THAT" big, or the idea of a woman in the gym has to mean she is there to work off the kilos. Either way, i think i'm a bit offended.

Jerry's idea

It was mid morning when Jerry awoke. He had managed to find enough to food the night before to quiet his empty stomach and had rested quite well. He had just awoken from a dream. In his dream he had seen a man walking along a busy road handing out books. It had given him a great idea, but he couldn't remember it now.

He stared at the wall until the idea began to reshape.

By the time the others awoke, he had a plan. He knew what to do with the films.

He explained his plan to the others and although they felt it was going to be hard to do, they agreed. There wasn't a lot of other plans happening.

It took a week to organise, but a week later, the films were being screened at an old cinema house. Those who were invited were encouraged to bring cameras and create copies of the films they watched. They could be distributed in the same way again elsewhere.

Carmen liked this plan. Some one would eventually put it on the net, but it wouldn't be them. Gerard would blame them for the leak. He might even catch them, but he couldn't lynch them for putting it online.

Carmen smiled as she watched an old black and white film. "Artwork was meant to be seen" she thought. "No use keeping it in a closet".

The silver screen actress blew a puff of smoke from her lips and swooned at a perfectly styled silver screen man. The man caught her in time and placed a passionate closed-mouth kiss on her lips. And the curtains closed on the film.

The end

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Carmen (part 5)

Carmen never said much of anything. She didn't believe in words. They were to corruptible. It was too easy to say something you didn't quite mean.

She did believe in film and theatre though.

The scripts could be fine tuned. They could be carefully sculpted until the meaning was perfectly clear. They were pure.

This is exactly why she chose to be a part of this. It had started when they had found out a big entertainment company planned to destroy their old films unless the public paid a grossly overpriced fee for them. Those who had originally been involved in making those films had long ago passed away. There was no one to speak for those films. Many of them were classics. They were works of art. The loss of them, Carmen felt, would be cultural murder.

That is when the four of them had come up with an idea to make copies of these films. They didn't mind if a rival distribution company sold them, but it was important to preserve them and make them accessible to the public. After all, what good is art if it is never seen?

They found a man who agreed to get the films to a company overseas that would pay for the films.

Jayde agreed to be the one to procure the films. She posed as a mistress to an entertainment executive. It took her 3 months to get access to the films. She got copies and then spent the better part of 2 weeks trying to get out.

Carmen tried not to think about what Jayde had been forced to do to gain Gerard's trust. It really was best not to think too hard on that. It would undoubtedly involve Clive.

The sound of the car broke into her thoughts. The highway's natural cracks were making the car vibrated at a lower frequency.

6pm does not come quickly in a car. So when the car came to a stop, the exhausted occupants slunk into Fredrick's safe house. Fredrick's safe house was also solar powered which meant that light bulbs were shunned for natural light. There was little natural night left. They didn't care. Carmen layed down on the couch while the others found their own space.

escape (part 4)

"Do you know Clive?" asked the American. "Clive is going to deliver your goods to Mr. Gerard".

Jayde closed her purse. Fredrick clutched his bat. Jerry cracked his knuckles. Carmen sat quietly.

"This is not for Mr. Gerard" said Jayde.

"It belongs to Gerard's company and he is willing to pay for its return" the American grinned.

Fredrick growled. Jerry and Carmen stood up.

"We're leaving" said Jayde.

Clive reached into his pocket. Carmen grabbed his hand and broke his wrist. The game was suddenly turning violent.

"What are you doing?!" screamed the American. He was nearly frantic "That film belongs to the company! They'll hang you for this!"

Fredrick led the way out. Jayde and Jerry followed. Carmen made sure no one else was interested in following as well.

Jayde knew the American was right. In the last five years there had been two cases where people had wilfully stolen property from Gerard's company and posted it on the net. Both cases had ended in the victim's execution. Their families were then billed for the expense.

The four got back into the car. The sun had warmed the car to an unbearable state. With the windows down they drove off.

There was silence until Fredrick asked, "What do we do with the film now?"
asked Fredrick.

Jerry said, "I'm still hungry".

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Clive (part 3)

It was 1 pm before anyone said anything.

"I need food" said Jerry.

"We're almost there" replied Fredrick

Carmen didn't say anything.

'There' was the next exit and it was only a few miles down the road. Stepping out of the car, the heat of the day hit them. Shimmering mirages danced off the tar sealed parking lot.

The petrol station they had stopped at had a restaurant inside. It wasn't anything special, barely even a diner.

They had just sat down when a tall man with a black gottee joined them. "Did you bring it with you?" he asked Jayde in his thick American accent. She barely nodded. "Then get it out and hand it over!" he demanded.

She opened her purse. As she reached in, she stopped. There was a sweet musky smell wafting around her. She looked up. It wasn't coming from the American so she looked around. Behind her stood Clive.

Clive believed above all else that any day a model agency would discover him. Therefore he dressed like a model. Which really was a massive insult to all models, possibly worse for designers.

Every part of Clive's wardrobe was over exaggerated. His over large shirt had 'decorative' holes cut into it. Florescent green hot pants and thongs completed the look. His hair was gelled to stand at all different angles. He apparently bathed in Cologne.

While Clive believed he was destined for the cat walk, he spent his real life posing as a hired thug....a hired thug who preferred pistols to actual fist fights.

Friday, June 13, 2008

part 2

Her car finally stopped in front of a large building. She collected her things and got out. It was early morning now and the sun was just starting to peak. The cold morning air brushed her face. She drew her coat tight and ran inside. It was an apartment block and she rented a flat on the third floor. Her quick steps making no noise on the carpeted stairs.

As she unlocked the front door, she noticed her feelings of unrest remained with her.

She opened the door and walked in. The place was elaborately decorated in reds and golds. She went for the bedroom and emptied the contents of her purse on the bed. A small camcorder tumbled out. Several envelopes and scraps of paper also found themselves unceremoniously scattered on the bed.

She sat down on the edge of the bed and sighed. She allowed herself to fall back and closed her eyes.

It was a smell that awoke her. It was the kind of smell men have after they've spent 30 minutes in the bathroom. It was a sweet musky scent.

Jayde sat up.

Quickly gathering the contents of her purse, she went to the window. There, the fire escape offered a less than dignified exit, but she took it. Not looking back, she silently left the apartment.

At the bottom of the fire escape she ran into Fredrick. He was a nice man, but he often carried a cricket bat in case he needed to be a not-so-nice man.

Today Fredrick was carrying the cricket bat and looking at Jayde in a less than friendly manner.

She considered her chances of escape. Not great in a dead end ally.

Fredrick motioned for her to follow him. She did.

Clutching her handbag, she followed Fredrick to his car. It was parked on the street, in front of her own. She noticed that her tired had been slashed and the front wind screen broken. From a brief glance, it appeared the steering wheel had been removed. At least there was little chance it would be stolen.

She slid into the back seat of Fredrick's hybrid Toyota. Fredrick cared about the environment.

The car already had two other occupants. Jerry sat in the front passenger seat. Carmen sat next to Jayde. Fredrick drove off.

Thursday, June 12, 2008


It was a cold and windy night. The world felt unsettle. Not that Jayde could really tell, but it felt poetic and that always just felt right. Wasn’t there a song that suggested that if it felt good, it must be right? She couldn’t quite remember but she was confident in the thought.

At 3am she left. She carefully closed the door behind her. She didn’t wish to wake anyone. She fumbled in her pocket for the keys and found them. “There was a car around here, somewhere”. She felt her way to the sidewalk and then to the curb where her car was parked.

Unlocking the door she got in and started the engine. She wondered if people would wake up to the sound of her ignition. It didn’t really matter. It would be too late anyway.

As she pulled away from the house she looked back in her mirror. The porch light had just flicked on. She turned her eyes to the road and sped on. It was time to go.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Poll results

Of those those who have ventured into a past art form of Theatrical performance, musicals seem the way to go.

From My Fair Lady to Sound of Music to Rent and Chicago, the musical realm is full of exciting beats and jazz hands. Perhaps it is the musical element that draws you to watch these stories unfold. Or perhaps it is the chance to watch men dance without spray on pants. (the Nutcracker will never be the same for me after watching the Ballet)

For me it is the way a production can deal with some times heavy content with humour and song.

However, the main thing we can learn from the polls is...not everyone is interested in having a say in this poll.

picture of the day

This picture came from a world in pictures gallery on It was such a wonderful picture, i had to share it with you. If you'd like to see other pictures from around the world click here.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

three things before i go

1. my weekend was so full my eye balls feel like they are 20 ton weights. They hurt when my eyelids slide against them.

2. i need to file papers...but i can't remember which comes first 'G' or 'I'. hint anyone?

3. the poll is ending....(or maybe already ended) vote now for whirled peas.

Thursday, June 05, 2008

and you can quote me

i have a deep passion for George Bernard Shaw. Perhaps it was his plays that first attracted me to him but it was the various quotes from him that had me hooked. His sense of humour and timing was amazing.

While most in the christian world would find themselves gasping at some of his quotes, i have found them a source of deep reflection. This is likely only a sign i am headed for hell, but nevertheless, i will share a few thoughts to ponder, from Shaw.

The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more to the point than the fact that a drunken man is happier than a sober one.

The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man.

All great truths begin as blasphemies.

Beware of the man whose God is in the skies.

I never resist temptation because I have found that things that are bad for me do not tempt me.

Wednesday, June 04, 2008

The play review

oh yeah! i was great.

I have humbleness oozing from every pore.

Tuesday, June 03, 2008

Samson Agonistes (my highlights)

Just in case

My Life as Me inspired the following blog.

I have always wondered how albums get titled, how bands come up with names...apparently they go to this site and figure it all out thanks to an assortment of popular websites. So i thought,
"self, you should be prepared in case you ever need to start a band and create your first album."
So me and myself prepared ourself with the following.

The name of my band: Visual Inspection

Name of my debut Album title: And Getting It Right

Album cover:

Paul Harvey's 'rest of the story' probably should be included...but its not.

When a liberal backbencher has mulitple orgasms on the parliment floor, it must be a pretty interesting day.

full story here...i laughed so hard i cried.

missing pixies

anyone else notice the weather pixies seem to have taken a vacation from the site?

i miss them. I hope they come back soon.

Monday, June 02, 2008

Th results are in

Apparently readers of this blog have a lot of quirk. While some describe parts of their senses as the most unique aspect of themselves, most readers had something else entirely that set them apart.

Due to the vast majority of people who responded that their uniqueness lies in something different, i want to know! What makes you different? what sets you apart? Leave me a comment and tell me what makes you unique!