Growing up, my mother was a big supporter of consequences. If you touched the burner, you'd get burned. She never *wanted* me to hurt myself. It was a natural consequence. True, there were many times she was able to stop me before i got hurt, but it was not something she could do all the time.
I have taken that lesson with me in life. There are consequences to my actions. If choose not to wake up in time, the natural consequence is that i will be late. I can not blame it on my husband for not waking me up.
A few days ago i made up my mind to stop being a safety net for someone. I decided to not stop their hand when it went for the burner. I decided it was time for some natural consequences to kick in. It may mean that i lose them from my life, but i can not continue to treat an adult like a child. There is a strange and wonderful peace about my decision. And i believe it was for the best.
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