So i'm sitting here trying to think of what in the world i am feeling. I have had so many "things" happen in the last fourty-eight hours, i feel that i should have an overwhelming feeling. I don't really. The only thing i can identify is this desire to throw-up. I think this is mostly due to unwanted attention (some guys get too touchy when they "fall in love"). But what of all the other "things"? Shouldn't i have a feeling for them too? why do i feel they aren't real? I'm not sure. I suppose that it is all a matter of perspective. My perspective is so far away i can't say for sure what is really happening.

I know i'm not making sense...That is okay...just nod your head and smile.

So what am i feeling? a combination of disgust, frustation, annoyance, self-loathing, annoyance, and and a tiny bit of hope. That list looks bad...but please don't take this list to heart too soon. I don't think that my mood will stay this way...it is only a matter of time before life changes, yet again...and everything will look different. Besides, God's here. He'll help me figure all this out.