Hope

Friedrich Nietzsche once said, "Hope is the worst of evils, for it prolongs the torments of man."

George Bernard Shaw said, "He who has never hoped can never despair".

Today I put off paying our immigration agent. Why? Because I'm hoping we won't need him. I"m hoping that a brilliant job will open up in front of me and I'll be whisked away into a life full of happy working days and pockets full of cash.

I fear that the truth will be much more stark. It will be a penniless existence, relying solely on the kindness of friends for survival for the continuing months.

My options are very few. None of them strike me as great.

If I stay in the USA I have the option of continuing work. I will continue to get free room and board, but I will continue to emotionally shrivel up.

If I go to Australia, I will have very little money to survive on, and no hope of getting work (because I'll be a tourist) but i will be able to emotionally breath again.

Dear God, what do I do? I trust that you have a path, but I have yet to find it. Maybe I am walking on it without knowing.

Whatever the case may be, I continue to trust and hope.