- Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh.
- A fool's brain digests philosophy into folly, science into superstition, and art into pedantry. Hence University education.
- Democracy is a device that ensures we shall be governed no better than we deserve.
- I can forgive Alfred Nobel for having invented dynamite, but only a fiend in human form could have invented the Nobel Prize.
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