The Red Green Show

The Red Green show was a Canadian show that ran for 15 or so years. Great show. It's humour was a little off centre, but that is often how i like my funnies. So in my nostalgic moments today, i compiled some quotes from the show.


[Red tries to get Dalton to guess the word 'Sensitive.']
Red Green: All right... aware.
Dalton Humphries: Sober.
Red Green: Touchy.
Dalton Humphries: Feely.
Red Green: Touchy-feely.
Dalton Humphries: Richard Simmons?
Red Green: Compared to you, your wife is more...
Dalton Humphries: Overweight.
Red Green: Emotionally, she's more...
Dalton Humphries: Weepy!
Red Green: No, she notices things more, because she's...
Dalton Humphries: Picky.
Red Green: You would never say to your wife that she's picky, overweight or weepy because...
Dalton Humphries: Castration?
Red Green: The vertical hold on your television set.
Dalton Humphries: Sensitive.
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Red Green: Well, I'm not gonna be calling the U.S. Air Force, Harold. What do I say? We've got a missile? They take that as a threat, we're in real trouble.
Harold Green: Well, then, contact the Canadian Air Force.
Red Green: Harold, it's after six; he's gone home.

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Red Green: [singing] Oh, a horse with a horn is called a unicorn/A horse with stripes is called a zebra/A horse with wings is called Pegasus/And a horse with a broken leg is called glue.