Thursday, May 17, 2007

Secret places

Go online and you can find a mirriad of ways to share and vent secrets. Some places allow you to do it in visual form, other places are more like forums. Yet other places are all your own. A blog for example allows you to vent your fustration to vitual strangers. The problem with this form is that sometimes your friends will read it and then, no more secret.

I once had a secret blog where i told the world how much i hated the grey areas of my Christian expirience. After getting quite a bit of feedback from strangers, i realised that what i really wanted was not to vent, but to change. I wanted my christian expirience to be much different. Having a place to vent was special to me...but i wanted more.

I wonder if that is a product of my society? Wanting more, i mean. My western world allows for almost non-stop consumption of everything. Food, entertainment, sex (usually in the shape of pornography), 'Stuff'. Yet, no matter how much i have, there is always a desire for more.

I guess sharing secrets taps into my desire for 'more'. In a way, secrets are a spiritual salve. They make me feel more comfortable with who i am. I find that through the sharing of secrets, i realise i am not that different from you. In fact, we share more in common that i could ever realise. The balance i must walk is allowing myself to recognise our similarities, move past them and connect with the real world. In this virtual forum i can begin to feal the slave working, but my wounds will not heal here. I must move away from the soft comfort of knowledge and back into the bright daylight of reality. Because it is only in the daylight that my secret wounds are healed.

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