Dinner For One

Enjoy this New Year's Cult Classic film about an old lady who firmly sticks to tradition for her birthday celebration!

Mahahaha! Jason: the evil Genius

Thanks to Foxtrot.com for this comic of the week.

New photos

new friends
Originally uploaded by narnia_k

Well, i've uploaded a bunch of photos of my Christmas holidays up to flickr. Click the picture to view more of them!

Don’t ever use the word ’boring’ in your titles

I love reading blogs. I read as many as i come across.Well, that isn't exactly true. If the blog is written by someone I don't know they get judged on two criteria before I will hazard to read what they have to say. And knowing that you all are desperate to know what I judge them on, I will share with you my two criteria.

1. When is the last time they posted. If the last time they posted something was weeks or months ago, than if I like what is written I may be disappointed that I can't read more of it later. Because once I find a blog I like, I keep reading it (sometimes even daily) until I find something better or they stop posting. The later seems to happen more often than the former. Damn lazy bloggers!

2. The other thing i check is the title of their blog and then the entry posts. If the blog title is painful or disturbing, i'm likely to skip it (for example the title "hot pigs with toe rings" is disturbing yet catchy, so i'm likely to read it. "Hot toes with toe rings" is just disturbing and I'm likely to bypass" ). If it passes my subjective criteria, then i will go to the title of the post. Here is where i keep find problem.

Dear bloggers
please stop entitling your posts "boring days" or "my boring life". Why do you think i want to read something that you, as the writer, finds 'boring'????

anyway...

This has been a riveting blog entry about my criteria for reading blogs. I have no idea what you will do with this information, except perhaps make sure you never entitle anything with 'boring'. Now that your life has been inexplicable enriched,
have a great weekend!

Photos from the holidays

Here are some pictures of my holiday


The beautiful water falls.


The Christmas Tree with the presents.



The insect are HUGE and the bites are terrible!


Chris and I making the best of the situation!

ethical questions

If you know that someone is in danger of themselves, do you have a ethical responsibility to get them the care they need??

If you know that their family will be angry if you do?

Christmas

I do not get emotional about family and christmas and all the crap. ...or at least i didn't used to.

For reason i am still trying to figure out, i agreed to spend Christmas in one of the hottest places on earth (just slightly south of the Equator). While the views are amazing, the animals are awe inspiring, the heat is DEFINATELY intense!

There is something about this heat that causes me to remember back to my mother's Christmas traditions. She always liked to have a christmas tree up. THe house was fabulously decorated and christmas presents were wrapped perfectly every time. We would gather in the living room to mock her as she sang christmas tunes slightly out of time to her cds. This year i intensely miss that.

There is no snow on the ground and none is threatening to fall. There is a palm tree in place of a pine tree and the christmas paper is been placed over gifts that have already been given to me...its all a formality. This works here. I just feel homesick for a northern hemisphere christmas.

and she's back!

'Back' might be a slightly over-reaching word, but i am about to embark on another post for my fabulous fans....and those people who randomly find my blog...(they were probably searching for something more religious or pornographic...so i'll probably disappoint both groups today)

Today we talk about the inherit need for feet. Yes, you might find that feet are one of the most unsung heroes of the human condition. Without their constant support and aid, we might never walk again!

(thank you Terry Pratchett for teaching me that humour)

People are wierd about their feet (yes i spelt it wrong on purpose). Some people are fascinated in that sexual way when it comes to feet. Some people pay to have women walk on them in high heels...(thank you internet for your constant information). Other people can not stand to touch other people's feet or have their own even poked. I met a lady who could not stand to have her feet touch. She screams and runs about if you even suggest you might take a feather or a finger to her body below the ankle.

I am one of those people who would die happy in nearly any situation, if i got a foot massage at the same time. ["what's this? the rack? sure i'll gladly be mutilated to death as long as you spend the next 10 minutes massaging my feet with garlic oil while you slowly stretch me til i pop"]


where am i going with this?

i have no idea.

oh wait...yes i do! Don't forget to vote wisely in your next election! Thankyou and goodnight

(see i warned you about that 'back' thing)

Silence

Orion died yesterday. No blog posts for a while. See myspace blog for details.

Please mind the gap

So I've finally decided that its worth keeping track of shooting. US shootings seem to have become all the rage over the last few years. It feels that almost every week another story hits front page news about someone opening fire in public places. So I've created a blog where I'll be tracking each shooting i find on a front page of a news source. If i miss one, feel free to send me an email and we'll add it to the running sheet.

I've made mention before about my belief that these shootings are signs of a widening gap between the common person and those with authority in the USA. I believe that as this gap widens the violence is going to continue and get worse. In other places this discontent might lead to protests or strikes, but the individual culture that has been cultivated for years in the USA means that there are few outlets for angst at the whole social order. This strong individual culture has never been seen before in history. It is a cause of discussion among some as to whether this will lead to a falling apart of the social order or whether it will force a sort of anti-culture that brings people together...or it may do something completely different.

No matter what, i hope this blog brings to the forefront the need for something to be done in the USA about gun control, about poverty, and about the widening social gap.

Writers strike

Writers are amazingly easy to find right now, most of them are picketting outside film studios. The Writers Strike in America has many happy angles that i am looking forward to exploring.

One of the main issues for this strike is that writers are not getting paid for their content that gets sold online. So if a TV writer had his episode of television sold to iTunes, he would get nothing from that sale. Currently writers are only being paid for the work they do that gets aired on television and .3% of the first million for the sales of DVD and VHS. This means that there are a lot of hungry writers out there!

I am against having to pay for most of my media. Basically i believe that if it can be aired on TV and i don't have to pay, than i should be allowed to download it to my computer for free too. However, just because i don't pay, doesn't mean that the networks don't get paid for my download. Veoh.com legally airs tv programs from networks. They take a commercial break every so often. PLUS they also have advertisements that decorate each page. Networks are getting paid a lot of money for these advertisment spots!

Is it fair that writers don't get a cut? I believe the only answer is a loud and resounding NO! Writers put in a lot more work than even the actors (and i've done both these jobs. i do actually know this one) While writing at times is easy, most of the time its really hard. Yet, writers are still given scraps from the network table. Do i believe that they should be getting 2.5% of the gross profit?...well, the amount is negotiable but they should definately be getting more than nothing!

i gotta take care of him

so sorry for the lack of posts recently

Upon request

So Kaisa asked me to provide the answers. After much research and sweat, i found this. THE BEST ANSWER OUT THERE!

Sinfest.net is a online web comic that is accessible through the previous link. i have no rights to publish this at all but i hope Tatsuya appreciates the free press and don't suit my pants off. Mainly cause i look crap without pants.

they mystery of life

I initially thought it was because of my age that i was noticing so many women pregnant. I sort of thought that i had reached the age when many women my age were giving birth. Apparently i was wrong. There is a baby boom happening in Australia. Since 2005, women have been giving birth to more children than the previous 10 or so years.

As i watch the stomachs of these women swell to almost unbearable sizes, i can't help but wonder the reason for the sudden increase in births. The previous government was quick to take credit for it, but adding a few more dollars to help cover child expenses doesn't seem like a reasonable reason to have children in mass droves.

I'm sure that finances did play a part in the decision. I mean, no couple would just have sex and produce a baby without thinking it through, right?....well...perhaps there is a flaw in that last statement.

Perhaps the answer lies there. Maybe the government has been putting aphrodisiacs in our water to increase the birth rate of the country. It's underhanded, immoral, and probably illegial...but those things have never stopped them before.

Maybe there is something to be said for the mystery of life. Why are there times when it there are baby booms and why are there baby not-booms. Why do mothers have children in desperately poor countries? Why don't mothers have children in wealthy countries? There is more to the question than economics. There is more to this question than love. I don't know that i believe it can be quantified so easily in terms and quasions. It is simply part of the mystery of life.

Are you influenced?

You probably don't realise how much information you receive during the day. A friend sent me to this video for an example of how product placement can work. It was quite a powerful find!

Do you care?

The following is a rant, brought you by the makers of the DVD rant.

If you've been living with your head in the sand and two fingers up your proverbial butt, you probably have still heard of the ONE Campaign. It is the campaign to end poverty, specifically focusing on developing countries. It is an admirable goal with thousands (if not millions) of supporters.

Apparently, however, not everyone is interested in freeing developing countries from debt. It appears that governments are selling off the debt owed to them by developing countries to companies. These companies are then taking to court and suing them for the full amount of their debt, plus interest.

Prior to the debt being sold off, these countries have had no accruing interest in their debt, (thanks mainly to the ONE campaign). Suddenly when big business takes over, they've got their full debt back, plus interest. This is essentially a death sentence for many of the people who live in these countries. Yet Vulture Funds still exist and seem to be legal, thanks to governments all over the globe.

It seems that governments are happy to appear charitable with the debt collecting and companies are happy to point to all their charitable works which account for a minor percent of their total profits. Between the two of them, they are putting on a front that appears noble and THE PEOPLE BUY IT!

If people were seriously interested in stopping poverty, they wouldn't allow their governments do to this, they'd vote them out of office. They wouldn't buy from companies who extorted from the poor, no matter how cheap their products are. If world poverty was really an issue that was cared about, our personal comfort wouldn't be our first priority.

In a world where we can access a multitude of information, we still rely heavily on corporate news (which lets face it goes through a bit of a spin before production). We allow fashion and gossip magazines to be the prominent form of "news" we buy. We are more interested in the clothes we wear than the true price for which the clothes came. We are hypocrites and proud hypocrites at that.

As our middles expand, our fists get tighter. In the end, it is our greed that will keep us from ever being truly rich.

Welcome

I honestly wasn't sure that Kevin Rudd was going to get into office, but i was pleased that a change in leadership took place. Not because i thought John Howard was the worst Prime Minister that Australia had ever seen, but rather because i felt that his party had become complacent about their role. With members of his party passing out fake leaflets to discredit others, it just made me wonder if they truly understood the gratitude they should feel towards the people they represented.

I was glad to see Kevin Rudd making some bold movements straight away. His statement that we will ratify the Kyoto Protocol as soon as possible was an impressive, if somewhat more appearance driven than action. (in other words the Kyoto Protocol has some very interesting loopholes that mean some countries get a "please do nothing for signing this" clause. Although, Australia is not currently one of them)

I really hope that the changes that are going to be made to work places are for the best. I hope that people are more secure in their jobs than they were only a few months ago. I hope that things are more fair and employees better paid.

I have many hopes for this government. With any luck, we'll see one third of my hopes meant and the other two thirds of my hopes dashed to little bitty pieces. (please let Rudd have his own mind and not be a puppet of GWB...please please please PLEASE let that be in the 1/3 part)

Good luck Mr. Kevin Rudd. You'll definitely need it.

and thats not all!

After a prolonged absence i have finally returned to my habit of blogging only to realise that i seem to have left my self in my other pair of jeans. In fact, i haven't seen those jeans in quite some time and i am beginning to wonder if they are still around.

Isn't it odd how people change you? Values can become changed and distorted when you spend a large amount of time with someone vastly different to you. I feel like that is what has happened to me. With so much work of late, i feel like my value system, which was meant to keep family time to a maximum has all but disappeared. Working 45 hour weeks was never part of the plan.

I am feeling less like me than i've ever felt.That can't be a good thing. But if i could only find those jeans that i left myself in, i'm sure things would go back to normal soon...i'm sure of it...

Film review: "I have been thrown far from grace. Now all i can do is fall on it"

Gabriel

My husband took me to the cinema. As we sat, preparing to watch an Australian low- budget film, our hopes weren't high. So it was a great shock to find that this film was so good. With only the tiniest of budgets they managed to make a film that was quite well done. So lets talk specifics.

Technical (cinematography)
Most of the shots are very artistic. They were enjoyable to look at because they were just so well set up. The camera work on the film was quite nice for the most part. There were a few shots at the beginning where i wondered what the director was thinking. But overall, well done.

Script (Dialogue)
Sad, but the dialogue was not the best i'd ever seen in a film. At times the scenes are painful because the dialogue is delivered so 'exact' that it sounds forced. Although, there are scene where the dialogue is exactly what the film needs. So like most things, you have to take the bad with the good.

Script (plot)
The plot was extremely simple. Angel comes down to save purgatory from hell taking over. The big surprise twist at the end; my husband saw coming, although i did not. While the plot is simple, i don't think that is really a bad thing. It meant that more effort could be put into the scenes themselves. Some of the scenes were extremely touching. My favourite was a scene where Gabriel detoxes a fallen angel. "This is going to hurt...a lot". The entire scene was extremely powerful.

Really the entire film is on some level a commentary about human's fight against the darkness. Each shot has something to say about our spiritual battles. Each fallen angel struggles with being so far away from 'the light'. It was nice to see a film where love and forgiveness are the heroes in the film instead of hatred and violence. (which isnt' to say that these things don't feature in the film, but they are not revelled in)

If you get a chance to go see this film, GO! Espcially people who like action films. I give this 3.5 stars out of 4.

Because he says it better than i do

thanks to xkcd.com for this comic

Hehehe..more laughing

thansk to xkcd.com

I laughed out loud and snorted!

Thanks to xkcd.com for the comic

Music review: Rock It

The Gorillaz have released a new single entitled "Rock It". While i've been a long time fan of the group, i've found this song to be as dead as the zombies in the music video. While parts of the song threaten to be interesting they slide back into a slow drumlin of chant. The effect of a chant can be powerful in a song if used sparingly. When the entire song is barely more than a continued chant, the song loses its life and fades into the background of boring elevator music.

I had hoped for more from the Gorillaz

size matters

They also can do the same
Originally uploaded by sanjins

Pop culture uses the phrase a lot. So does men's health magazines. Women's magazine's remind the reader that size really isn't that important at the same time as providing pictures of 'normal' women who've been caught in a time-lock that feature's their age at 16 and their body as anorexic.

Sizes are one of the few things that everyone will *tell* you doesn't matter, but look at any visual media and you're certain to get a completely different message.

From the shape of a woman's hips, to the length of a man's...um...member, the mainstream media is awash in ideas on how to make us look better. "Better" being an arbitrary standard set by people we probably won't enjoy a meal with...possibly because they don't eat.

But we already know that these standards for women and men are ridiculous. We already believe that model's are too skinny and men's jeans too tight. We also believe that we are too fat, too ugly, or too untalented to do much with our lives. After all, those talented people in Hollywood live a life daily on a much bigger level than we could ever do in a life time!...or so the gossip column tells us.

Every day we get spoon-fed morals, self perceptions, and global understandings that we have not learned for ourself. Some of it because we lack time, energy, or money to gain these things on our own...sometimes its just convenient.

In our 90 second microwave dinner world, we hardly have time for anything that doesn't come pre-packaged in a one size fits all category. But one size fits all doesn't work. The more often we try to pre-package everyone into the "western Christian mid-class" package, the more tears the package has as people break out. More and more Muslims are becoming vocal in their native homes in western countries. Christian values are being challenged by new cultures and different religions. The harder the pre-package is pushed, the more holes are found.

The sizes are no longer fitting for entire countries, or even for small communities. Maybe its time to admit that the full colour magazine layout in Vogue is just as misleading as the pre-packaging. Because, size really does matter. It matters because we are not the same size. We are not stalk-standard people with stalk-standard needs. Our needs, desires, and goals come in different sizes with different packaging with different shapes! Size does and should matter. But it matters because of the differences, not because we strive to be the same.

So in the end, the subliminal message is correct: size really does matter.

SINFEST

Thanks to sinfest.net for this weeks comic.

Cruelty to animals

Yoda dog
Originally uploaded by sunrise.seven

There are some things pet owners should refrain from doing. One of those things is dressing their pets up to look like star wars characters. I believe no further proof is necessary than that of this picture.

Top five

Welcome to Friday. Here is your top five things to do this weekend that will make you feel ALIVE!

5. Steal a car. Nothing too fancy, but definitely more fancy than the bomb you currently drive. There is something wonderful about driving something without rust holes in the bonnet.

4. Drive fast. You'll feel exhilarated to be behind the wheel of a car that can go faster than 100k an hour.

3. In fact, Ignore speed signs altogether. Feel your heart pump as you whisk through the school zones, dodging children as you go.

2. See how many police cars you can collect on your tail as you drive. Don't stop the car until you've got at least five and a news chopper over-head.

1. Get arrested. Nothing makes one feel more alive than knowing at any minute Bubba will decide you are better as his bitch than as wall decoration.

Enjoy your weekend everyone!

ROFL!

WARNING: this advertisement is rated M for Mature

I don't get it

I love checking out imdb.com for what is the latest and bestest (yes, that is a word. i heard it on Buffy) movie releases. I've noticed in the last couple of years that Torture Porn is almost always number one at the box office.

Torture Porn: It is a genre of film that revels in torture.It uses torture
sequences in the same manner as pornography films use sex.

Now i like pretty weird things. i like some genres of horror. i like suspense. i like drama but i always HATE gore. I see no reason to revel in torture or deaths. It turns me off faster than you can say "please refund my ticket".

I realise that my tastes don't (or maybe shouldn't) be enforced on the rest of the world, but why in the world would movies like this be so popular?

I've suggested before that the reason could be the strange power struggle in people right now. They feel powerless and thus enjoy entertainment where they can be submerged in that feeling yet finally overcome at the end. Thus giving some form of relief to their fears.

Andre Mayer from cbc.ca wrote an article about the use of torture in mainstream
entertainment. Mayer has some very interesting insights that might be worth
checking out. (this is also where the picture came from)

It scares me that many governments around the world are implementing torture. It scares me more that the average person seems to be thinking it is more and more acceptable.Is it because of these movies? or are these movies around because the subject is less unappealing than it was 10 years ago?

I suppose in the end it doesn't really matter why these movies are popular. It really only matter what we're willing to put into our brains and why. But I still don't get the need for Torture Porn.

Top Five Reasons

Top five reasons why its better to have illegially downloaded entertainment than legally bought stuff.

5. You are not forced to watch only things available to you locally. Online you
can watch movies from a variety of different places. Thus enhancing your world
and personal views.

4. You are not suckered into watching an entire
crappy movie just because their preview advertisement was well funded. You can
always decide you don't like something and turn it off without feeling that your
waisting your money.

3. You are able to give a clear indication to the
entertainment industry about what you want them to produce because you can
download it, then only buy the stuff you actually like. They are able to tell
which productions are good...not just which previews.

2. It is easier to
get a full album in the format you want it online, than it is to buy it in
stores.

1. The downloaded movies, shows, etc are all region free. you
don't have to spend extra money buying more changes to your region on your
computer.

Comics

This week's comic is brought to you by Sinfest.net.



and by Cyanide & Happiness


Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

World President Job Application

Presidential Job Application

Take this political survey

Full Name (minimum of 3 names required for the job) Kristin Outa-me-Mind Teel
Age definately old enough to know better than the other guy
Gender The ablity to lead a people has nothing to do with my genitals
Party affiliation My party
Have you ever been arrested? not for anything serious
What for? see above
Served jail time? nope. i'm too ugly for them to want to keep me
Have you ever used drugs? only the natural kind
What drugs? the natural kind...weren't you paying attention?
Been convicted of drug possession? nope
Have you ever smuggled something illegal into the country? Yes, but the country needed it there
Do you have a scandalous past? only if you're facinated by the boring
Please explain My life is hardly tabloidishous

Personality/Beliefs/Values

What are your views on world domination? I should definately dominate. i could get the cute leather whip out. put on my plether pants and knee high black boots...
Do you have any religious ideologies? yes
How do you feel about trampling the rights of states within the US? mahahahhahahaha
What about trampling the rights of other countries? lets not talk about rights...instead lets talk about me
Do you think any drugs should be legalized? of course. then they could be taxed and then i could be richer...
Do you believe that you are always right? of course not. But you better say i am anyway
Do you value the opinions of others? yep. they remind me to clean the dungeon out.
Are you able to admit when you are wrong? wrong?? what is this word you speak of?
Do you believe that it is ok to go on vacation during a crisis? no. especially if i'm at the centre of it.
Do you believe in the philosophy of screw the little guy? how little is he?
Do you believe it is the governments responsibility to take care of people? of course. and if you willingly submit to me, i'll take great care of you.
What are your views on the current state of the wellfare system? there are so many welfare systems. maybe we should pick one
How do you feel about the current state of Social Security? i don't believe there is any social security anymore
Do you believe that when you are old enough to collect you will be able to? only if i put my money in stuff that actually returns
What would you do to ease/solve the oil crisis? start making cars that don't need oil!
Would you protect the environment? OF COURSE! you can call me auntie nature (avoiding the mother stuff still)
Would you go to war with countries unprovoked? of course not. i'd find a way to provoke them into provoking me.
Would you make your own decisions or what your parents wanted you to do? I'm the new world dominatrix. of course i'm not taking orders from daddy...thats just too discustin!
Would you travel in the black limos or incognito? oooo! incognito! i love dress up!

Now, on to your experience and qualifications

Have you ever declared war? Why? only against the neighbour and his silly fence offensive.
Have you ever used nuclear force? Why? no... have not had access to nuclear force
Have you had an affair with your intern? no. the intern is too creepy and my hubby is WAY more sexy
Do you have friends in low places to hide your secrets? they don't need to be low places to hide my secrets.
Do you have friends in high places to give you lots of money? once i am the world dominatrix, i'm sure i'll have plenty of money...mahahahaha!
Are you able to have a conversation without sounding like an idiot? Sometimes...[ackward silence]
Do you stutter? nnn no.
Do you use insensitive words in public like crusade and savage? hehehe...savage
Do you have an IQ score about 25? WHAT??? i have to have an IQ!? i'm not sure i want this job anymore
Can you say the alphabet backwards? zyxwvutsrqponmlkjihgfedcba
Have you ever been caught in a compromising situation? i was on top
Can you count with your shoes on and your hands in your pockets? eeep! more hard questions!
Have you ever had someone taken care of? yes. it was beautiful. gramma was in hospital and i payed the nurse and extra 50 to clean her up and make sure the other patients didn't pick on her.
Did you only marry your spouse because one of you was knocked up? yes. He was definately knocked up.
Do you have grey hair yet? i decline to answer...mainly due to my fashion sense.
Do you wear cowboy boots to work? yuck! no cowboy boots for me. its ug boots all the way baby!
Can you sign your name quickly? yep...watch...kristin
Can you spell your name correctly? um...usually. sometime i type too fast and get the s and t mixed up
Are you able to sit in front of a phone and not push all the buttons? more hard questions!
Do you know how to read? yes...i just finished "see jane run"
Are you capable of having any independent thoughts? yep
Do you know what those are? nope
Do you believe in the freedom of speech? yes...as long as they only say what is good for the country
Do you just want to take a huge crap on individuals civil rights? no. i do that in the toilet...
Would you put your own picture on a new form of money? yes. it would be the thiele currency. it would be stronger than the greenback...although most things are starting to look stronger than the greenback right now so...
Would you attack Canada for the fun of it? no. canada is great at following directions. i'd keep them to set an example for the rest of the world
Would you deport all the illegals? to where?? mars?? that just is silly
Would you institute mandatory sterilization for stupid people? yes. and i'd determine who was stupid
Do you make babies cry? usually
Do you make old ladies cry? not so far

Expanding Religion

If you live in a western country, chances are you've been raised in a Christian environment. (if by nothing else but name) You may not realise the extent of religion in your area, or where it came from and how it got to your country.

This link will take you to a site that uses images and colour to give an example of where various religions started from and where they expanded to. Its very interesting if your interested in a historical approach to religion.

viva la cake day!

Today is the day to celebrate revolution. "A day when we remember that Marie Anne-Toinette was exectuted by the leaders of the French Revolution 214 years ago and we celebrate by following her dying wishes (i.e. the wishes that caused her to die) and we eat cake!!!" (thanks to founder, Andrew Talor for that quote)

So in honour of Cake day, i thought i'd blog about revolution.

Revolution is a profoundly subjective word and event. A revolution changes the status 'norm'.

While most revolutions come with blood running in the streets, there have been examples of bloodless revolutions. The most recient being the 1986 EDSA Revolution where the phrase "people power" was coined.

Today there is increasing signs of revolution sparking on various harizons. No one is certain if this will actually lead to anything, but many people around the world are holding their breath in expectation.

What will these changes lead to? No one can be completely certain, but every one is hoping for something better. But as a friend once said, if bringing change is brought by blood flow in the streets, it is the not sort of change we should want.

On this day when revolution is wanted and a new form of community, politics, and values are desired let us remember to DO JUSTLY, LOVE MERCY AND WALK HUMBLY WITH OUR GOD.

Top Five movies

So in my bordom, i found five new films i'm very interested to see. They are all wierd, which mades me happy

5.Why Did i Get Married?
This is a story about four married couples who re-discover their reasons for being married to the person they are married to. Sounds sappy and lovely.

4. Igor
An animated story about monsters...how i could i resist?

3 Wristcutters: A love story
After you kill yourself, apparently you go to a place you can't smile. Three
people meet up in this place, all looking for something...most likely they find
something they weren't expecting. Again sappy, but done in a way i haven't seen
before...so i'm interested.

2. War Inc
I want to see this film because it reminds me of one of my favourite films, "Grosse Pointe Blank". Not a huge fan of Hiliary Duff, but i'm willing to put up with her if John Cusack has written the script.

1. Martian Child
I saw the trailer and fell in love with the story immidiately. A boy who believes he's a martian is adopted by a writer who writes fiction about Mars. Not only is it a story you normally don't hear about, its has the potential to be very funny. If you'd like
to see what i mean, a clip of the trailer is below.

Ode to the old days when sibling fights reined supreme

Siblings are known to fight. Occasionally even draw blood. My sister and i rarely took it that far. Today i am reminded of those days when her and i were forced to share a room. So in ode of this tragic memory, i bring The Boondocks:

Another Shooting in the USA..

It seems like every week we get a new story about a shooting in the states. Last week it was a part-time police officer who went crazy over an ex-girlfriend and shot several people. This week it was a boy who took a gun to school and wounded teachers and classmates before killing himself. Later in the week we heard of a boy who was planning another school attack!

Its strange that these stories of tragedy should become so common place in America. With all the hype of security, it seems that people are feeling less secure. If there was a better way for the gunmen to get what they wanted, do you think they'd have been gunmen?

We can easily push this off as crazy people acting out...but crazy people do not just reside in America (contrary to popular belief and most evidence). There are crazy people all over the world, yet for whatever reason there are fewer shootings coming from the UK, the EU, and Australia.

I personally believe that the reason shootings are less frequent in these countries is because the citizens feel more secure. Its not about the security measures that the governments are taking. Its about people feeling like they have control over their life.

Whatever it takes to get a solution, it needs to happen soon. i don't think the country needs any more death by guns next week.

Tips for the new season of televison

Television bugs me. Its not the advertisements, although i find them extremely annoying. Its the lack of interesting plots.

Almost every season of television that i truly enjoy, inevitably is cancelled after one or two seasons. (or in the middle of a season if i'm especially unlucky) There are of course exceptions to this rule, but they seem to be few and far between. Thus, i've made a list of things to do and not do in television series. Hopefully some hot producer will read this and take notes.

1. Hire Joss Whedon for your writer and director

2. A female lead character is NOT a bad idea. In fact its brilliant! but don't treat them like a slut. Allow them to be powerful in their own right. Don't make them beg for men's attentions...that is sad, pathetic and a huge turn off! (as in, i will TURN OFF the TV if i see that) Women are about a lot more than sex object. USE THAT TO YOUR ADVANTAGE!

3. Don't be afraid to actually say something in your series. Create television that will activate their brain. If you activate the brain, you'll activate the mouth, and before you know it, you'll have lots of people talking about your show.

4. Special effects are great, but don't try to sell a whole show on special effects. Hire a script writer...in fact, Hire Joss Whedon! (did i already mention this?)

5. Don't be afraid to make fun of yourself. After all, we all know we are watching a tv series. Don't try to act like its more than that.

This great tips are brought to you by the letters T and V and by the number 5.

i believe

The statement is often used when referring to faith. (It can also be over used by politicians who believe as long as the voters do.)

"I believe" is more than a statement about belief, however. It is a statement about who you are.

By stating a belief with the preface of "i believe" you are placing your worth on the line. On some level you're making a statement about what you're willing to be ridiculed or congratulated for. You are now invested in the statement. It is more than just a few words.

When channel 10 began their "i believe" campaign, i immediately saw the value in promoting a TV station in such a way. They were telling their viewers that they were more than just entertainment. Of course, if you listen to what the people said, you'd soon realise that they were saying that they are just entertainment. But it was a very clever illusion of depth.

Sometimes i wonder if ordinary people do this too. They make the "I believe" statement without actually saying that they believe in much at all. It is very scary idea to put yourself on the line for a belief. Especially if you are unsure where it will lead. But not having a statement of belief can make you appear shallow.

(damn, somewhere around here i'm supposed to have a point...aw, well. soldier on. i'm sure something will come to us)

My point is that stating your belief is much more scary than actually having a belief. By merely having a belief, you can keep it to yourself and never have to defend it. If you state it out loud, you are allowing a feedback (of a sort) to happen that potentially will change what you believe.

In a since, unless you state a belief it can never mature. If you do state a belief it is likely to grow and change on you (in a since, leaving you).

So in a absurd sort of way...you can never hold onto belief.

(hey look! a point!)

So in the end it is the process of belief (self belief, statement of belief, follow by a maturing of belief) that is important. Not the belief itself.

Sorry Channel 10. Your statements of belief are again proved to be nothing more than shallow echoes in the tube.

hope

We've had some high winds here recently. That probably explains why it happened.

This morning as i walked onto the campus, i found small baby bird on the ground. Every little while, a mother or father bird would come and feed it some food, but the baby obviously couldn't yet fly.

All day long, as i rushed from one meeting to another, i kept finding that the baby was still being protected and cared for by his parents. It was quite sweet.

He may not live through tonight, but he is definitely something i will be looking for tomorrow when i head back to work.

I hope he makes it.

Inside or Out?

Growing up, i was pretty sure i was a liberal Christian. I believed in Jesus, a correct and healthy way to live, and i BELIEVED that i was in the right.

After leaving home and changing country, i found that what i BELIEVED was a lot more shaky. When a faith leaves the context of culture, you can suddenly find yourself in unfamiliar territory. Without the framework of culture, many of the things i had understood as 'faith' were quite clearly not.

sexual sin, alcohol, drugs, and eating dos and don't were all up in the air.

I'm sure that some people would say that my faith was being tested. I saw it as my faith being matured.

All my life i'd been trying to live a Christian life without much practical living thrown in. I didn't have to think about issues except to apply a Bible verse to them. It didn't much matter of the Bible verse and the practical application were ridiculous, I knew i'd done everything i was suppose to. But as my faith matured, i began to see that the brain i was given was not there for decoration. Turns out that my belief system should be practical as well as God-centred.

But practical faith is a lot more difficult to practice than simple Bible faith. For one thing, you've got a lot more thinking to do.

because i couldn't think of anything better

SCATTEGORIES

Use the 1st letter of your name to answer each of the following:

You're: kristin

Famous Music artist or group: kiss

3 letter word: kit

Street name: Klach st

Color:khaki

Gift or present: Kite

Vehicle: i'm not sure they make vehicles starting with a k...or at least, i can't think of any at 3 am.

TV Show: Kath and Kim

Country: Korea

Boy Name: Kevin

Girl Name: Katrina

Drink: Kiwi-strawberry juice

Occupation: Kitchen staff

Flower: Kniphofia (i cheated and searched google)

Celebrity: Kristen Bell

Food: kabab

Something found in a kitchen: knife

Reason for Being Late: kissing husband

Something You Shout: Kick it!

Lets think about this

This painting is entitled, The Last Breakfast. You'll notice that all the characters in the painting are cartoon characters that advertise various types of children's cereals. Usually these cereals are terribly unhealthy for a child to eat on a daily basis, yet they are heavily promoted as "part of a balanced breakfast".

You find find more thought provoking paintings at popaganda.com.

Top three things to do when bored at work

3. Check your email...check your email again...and again. ...and AGAIN...wait...i think i finally got something this time!

2. Obsess about celebrity gossip and fashion. Its so much more fun to poke fun at celebrities wearing giant flowers and two coats than actually work up some enthusiasm for real life issues.

1. Spin in your chair. This might sound pointless and boring, but i assure myself it is less pointless and less boring than staring at the lights of my computer for the next two hours.

Movies movies movies

I have a great love of film. I love morbid comedies like the whole 9 yards (and its sequel, the whole 10 yards), grosse pointe blank...and so on.


The newest comedy to appeal to my morbid nature is called War, Inc. True, it isn't out yet. and no i haven't seen it. but i am anticipating it quite a bit. After all, a hit-man with a conscious is always more fun than the regular action film.

Truly sexist?

Apparently some churches in Sweden are banning fathers giving away their daughters. The reason for banning it is because it's sexist.

Couples who marry "are equal when it comes to finances, politics, values ... but when they come to the church ... the woman suddenly turns into a man's property"Lutheran Church vicar, Yvonne Hallin said.

I was walked down the aisle my by father, but i was not given away by him. I too, felt like being "given away" was being treated like i was property. Yet, i was still happy for my father to walk me down the aisle to symbolise the life i had led with my family was ending.

So is being given away at a wedding too traditional? Is it truly treating women like property or celebrating tradition and giving parents their rightful respect?

Would it be sexist if the man was given away by his family as well?

oh yeah, i'm brillant

Unfortunate names

Don't ya hate it when you work out a name for a object (or possibly child) only to discover the acronym is something like "Unholy" or "Twit"?

such was the case for the poor South Lake Union Trolley...er, i mean, Streetcar, in Seattle.

I thought about you

I sat in the quiet and thought about you. I didn't need pictures or music, because your image is ingrained in my mind. I thought about our life and what it has meant. I thought about you and all that you've done.

I wondered how we drifted apart. I wondered how you made the decisions you made.

My feelings for you are still the same. They are not soft or hard. They are merely the same.

I wish you the best as you travel this life. I wish you hope and love and life. But i will not be there as you walk this road. I was never your belonging. i was always my own.

Guest poster

Hey!

i'm doing a bit of posting this week on my sister's site: THE COLLABORATION

This week will feature a lot of BAD POETRY (not by me, thank goodness). But if you're interested, she'd enjoy an increased hit count.

Bad Day

Its a bad day when you're in a car accident. It's even worse when your declared dead. But what is worse than that? When you aren't dead but wake up during your own autopsy.

Carlos Camejo, from Venezuela was pronounced dead after a highway accident. He was taken to the morgue, then into autopsy where the pain of facial incisions apparently woke him up.

His grieving widow rushed to the hospital to identify the body, only to find the body still moving! I imagine her day improved at this point.

So the moral of the story is...even if you're 'dead', your day can still get worse..or better, depending on your perspective.

AMEN SISTA!
I'm glad to know not the entire media is stupid

It happened late one night

I lay sleeping (as one does at 2 am) and suddenly a strange sound woke me from my slumber. It wasn't making any sense until my hubby asked me where the phone was. It instantly dawned on me that it was my house phone ringing...and apparently it had been ringing for a while.

I told hubby where i last remembered the phone and he ran to get it but it stopped before he got there. Next my mobile started ringing. By this time i was certain that it was probably someone from my family (who are not based on the same side of the world as i am) calling to tell me something. I decided that it must be important because they had never called at 2 am before!

I tried to grab my phone, but in my sleepy stuper, i failed to answer it before it went to voice mail.

Deciding that it must not really be that important i tried to go back to sleep.

This was not to be.

My conscious began to work and suggest all sorts of reasons why a call in the middle of the night should be returned. So i slowly got out of bed and rang my mother. (if anything was wrong she'd know)

She answered her phone with a certain amount of curtness which i found unusual. Apparently she was in the middle of the meeting and thought i was someone else.

She said that it had been my sister that rang but that my sis was in NEW YORK without her mobile phone so i wouldn't be able to call her back. I figured that it must be impressive movement to get from my mother's office to NEW YORK in the space of 10 minutes!

I went back to bed satified that i'd done everything i could do to get in contact with the sista.

I closed my eyes and began to see unicorns dancing when suddenly the unicorns turned blue and started ringing. My mobile phone was lighting up and indicating i had another call. So i slowly grabbed the phone and answered it.

Sure enough. it was my sis. She just wanted to use up a bit of time while she waiting for her plane. She had another 4 hours before her plane left and was stuck at the airport. She wanted me to help use up the time.

I helped her with 22 minutes and 34 seconds of it. Then i fell asleep. I think i hung up the phone first...

The 15th Century Email

Due to my lack of inspiration today, i thought i'd share another youtube clip. This clip meshes the excitement historical message services with today's instant messaging with email.

It's definately a clip that makes you glad to be living in a century where you don't have to re-do an entire message when you make a spelling mistake.

Its Britney Bitch

i am not a Britney fan. Usually i enjoy bagging her out more than any sort of support.

Yet, as i finally watched the youtube clip with Britney dancing away at the MTV awards, i felt a bit bad for her. I watched her swagger, stumble and mumble various things...and i did wonder if she really wanted a come-back. I mean, with two young kids, a media flaunted depression, and a divorce battle, how committed can she possibly be to this comeback?

Having said that, i read a review that referred to her body as unacceptable. I nearly gagged! If a woman is not allowed to look like this after she's had two children, exactly what sort of hope to "normal" people have of ever being "perfect"? I felt that her weight should not have even been an issue, being that she was there to perform. Criticise her style, her moves, her song, but to rate her body is just tacky (even if her dress sense sort of asks for it)

But if anyone else was interested in watching the clip of her dancing...or rather stumbling at the MTV awards....here be the clip

Fear and loathing in september

As another September 11 passes, i can't help but feel a bit annoyed. To be honest, i'm not sure who i'm annoyed at. Possibly its the media for constantly bringing up "that day". Perhaps its with the people interviewed who seemed to have made it their life's purpose to be interviewed every September 11.

Yes, i do believe that the date marks a terrible tragedy. And no i don't think the family or friends can just "get over it". But it would be nice if they'd move on. Mourning the dead every year is respectful, obsessing over them for an entire month is emotionally and physically unhealthy.

Perhaps i'm being too harsh on the public. Perhaps it is the fault of the media that this day seems to continue to live on and on and on. Perhaps it is their tasteless attempt at boosting rating by re-hashing a world horror. (after all mass death moves papers and gets people watching) If only they let the day be just a day, maybe the people would feel they could move on. Perhaps....perhaps.

Either way i'm annoyed that a date that used to commemorate birthdays, wedding anniversaries, and family get-to-gethers is now the constant reminder that we live in a world run by fear. Is this really what we want this day to represent? Is this really what we want for the future?

survey says...

1. Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 months from now?
excluding death, i can not see a reason why not.

2. What color are your eyes?
depends on the day. mondays-thursday they are brown, friday-sunday they are green. If i get sick, they turn pink and red.

3. What's the last thing someone said to you?
it was uninspiring and frankly unbelievable. so i'll make up a quote that sounds more real: "kristin, you are the most amazingly stunning woman i've ever met. Your like superwoman without the tacky clothing!"

4. What does your last text say?
'we should do that!"...actually it said something more racey but i won't comment on exactly what it said because i'm sure there are minors who read this and minors don't always get to see their families for long periods of time (them being forced to be underground and live in remote places for mining) so i wouldn't want to get them too excited about that sort of thing.

5. What is the total call time on your phone?
not sure. sometimes it decides to make calls all by itself and i can never tell how long it chooses to talk to other people/phones in such a manner.

6. What messaging system do you use?
drum beats. I find they are very effective in attracting attention.

7. Do you smoke cigarettes?
i thought it would be more fun to pour acid down my throat and gargle, so i went with the more fun option.

8. When is the last time you cursed?
now if i told you that it would no longer be a secret and i'd have to go to confession. At confession they'd probably make me do something like 15 Ellen Whites and 10 Our Prophets!

9. Do you have a dog?
yes. i have substituted a four legged creature in place of a child.

10. What is the last item you gave away?
it was some battery operated thingy that i'm sure those previously mentioned minors don't want to know about.

11. Do you own a stereo that cost more than $100?
i believe i do...We were given on for our wedding. Very nice one that only works when we tell it to. Unfortunately we still haven't taught it to role over..only play dead.

12. What is one thing you question?
this question. how is it possible to pick one question that i question. it just isn't fair!

13. Where do you see yourself in 4 years?
i left my crystal ball at home so i can't say for sure. I'm guessing it would say on the cover of WHO magazine.

15. Have you ever hiked up a mountain?
only with Salty the SINGING SONGBOOK! (if you don't get this joke...your lucky)

16. Do you remember singing any songs as a kid?
see previous answer

17. Are you married?
yes i am. He is 5 foot 9. blond, blue eyes. very sexy with a massive...foot. (actually they really aren't the same sizes. He broke his leg when he was younger and had to have this cast on that made one leg grow slower than the other. so one foot is really bigger than the other) and NO YOU CAN'T HAVE HIM!

18. When was the last time you talked to one of your siblings?
in person? um...its been a while. on the phone? last week. online: today! see i really a a good sista

19. Are you the oldest of your siblings?
HELL YES! and they better not EVA forget it!...until we all get really old and then i'm willing to let my little bro be the oldest.

20. Who are you talking to right now?
you

21. Have you ever told someone of the opposite sex you loved them and meant it?
of course. but then i realised that you can't actually love the ken doll. no matter what the plastic underwear imply.

23. Would you like to live in New York City?
i think i've had enough living in the USA...although i keep hearing that living in New York is more like living in a foreign country anyway...so...no.

24. Is there anyone that doesn't like you because of something you didn't even do?
yes. and i adamantly deny i put the raw sausages in his bed, no matter WHAT he *says* he saw me do!

25. Do you miss someone?
lots of times. but my aim is improving.

26. Do you think they miss you too?
every time! they'll NEVER catch me!

26. Will you ever speak to them again?
who? the person who isn't allowed to hit me? probably. but it will inevitably consist of "STOP IT!!"

27. What would you do if you saw George Bush walking down the street?
i see him walking down the street lots of times. Usually i change the channel and watch something less painful. (presidents really should have training on how to chew gum and walk at the same time)

28. What would you do if you found out you had an identical twin?
wonder what else my mom has kept from me (can't top this answer, bri)

29. If your crush asked you out right now, what would you do?
i dont have a crush...i have a husband. He's much better looking than a crush...plus i've already mentioned about the foot thang!

30. When is the last time you laughed?
now...damn that was a serious answer. i'll work never to do that again!

31. Have you ever been in a museum?
i love museums they smell like old people and old people are rich which means that we should all go to museums often to get rich.

32. What does your mom call you?
remember the minors? we can't use that sort of language around people who only hear the sound of a pick and rock all day!

33. Are you racist?
as in, do i enjoy races? not recently. all the horses are sick with some sort of flu and it isn't helping the racing industry at ALL!

35. Has anyone told you that they like you more than a friend?
not recently. would anyone like to start the trend?

36. How old are you?
old enough to know that a real woman does not give her age....i'm 25.

37. Do you plan to go to college?
not anymore. been there done that...probably going back next year.

38. What are you doing tomorrow?
getting a massage...working...sleeping...hopefully getting well and truly ducked! (damn my 'f' and 'd' keys got mixed up!)

39. What did you do yesterday?
what is with your questions!? leave my personal life out of this!

40. What have you eaten today?
again more personal questions! that's it, i'm out of here. i told my publicist that i wouldn't have anymore of these sorts of questions in interviews. i'm tired of you people prying into my personal life! and NO I DON'T HAVE A MAJOR EATING DISORDER!

[angry foot steps march out. door slams shut]

Good and Evil

Did you know that the old testament was written without the concept of evil? Sure they had the concept of bad n the sense "undesirable" but they didn't have the concept of absolute evil. While Satan does make an appearance in the old testament it is not as the devil. It is an an angel who argues against humans. He isn't the absolute evil, in fact the Angel of Death counts as much worse than Satan, although even he is not absolute evil.

Absolute Good or Evil is an interesting concept. It is almost comforting to know there is a completely pure being. The problem with this idea of absolutes is that it often leads to some pretty horrible things being done.

For Example: The Inquisition. with the Christian community knowing they were right and good and had (the ultimate) Good on their side, they were justified in doing anything they wanted to the "evil" fraction of the world. This led to horrific torture, murders, and sadistic raping of minds and bodies by the "faithful".

The Crusades. Many peoples were displaces, killed, and sold for the good of the Christian nations. Because these nations were under the absolute right, they were justified in going the extra mile in "beating" the devil out of the non-believers. It also allowed for taking of lands, belongings, and anything else the Christians desired because "they were the good guys".

Today the fight is very complicated with all sides believing they have the absolute right on their side. These ideas of absolute right lead to countries believing that torture is justified, human bombs are holy, and civilians are just as guilty as warriors. The horrors of these crimes are safely hidden behind a TV screen but they still are there.

Many more examples of belief in the absolute could be given. The point isn't that absolutes cause pain, which they do, but rather that absolutes are not needed. The trouble is, these absolutes were created by man. Man "figured them out". If everything that man comes up with is flawed, this too must be flawed. From the evidence of history, these concepts of absolute, don't do us any favours either. So maybe its time to let them go.

You'll like this

RIP Mr. Pavarotti

happiness

Today is a lazy, happy day.

In a box

he sits in a box
with not even sox
to watch the day go by

He might get let out
buts its a pretty strong doubt
cause the clouds are in the sky

If rain were to fall
He won't be dry at all
So in his box he'll lie

ugh

another cold day....

*not actual picture taken from my backyard.

FAST FACTS

Did you know?

Mammals are the only animals with flaps around the ears.

African elephants only have four teeth to chew their food with.

There are about one billion cattle in the world of which 200 million are in India.

A house fly lives only 14 days.

A dog was the first in space and a sheep, a duck and a rooster the first to fly in a hot air balloon.

The oldest breed of dog is the Saluki.

The bee hummingbird of Cuba is the smallest bird in the world.

An ostrich can run up to 70 km/h (43mph).

An annoyed camel will spit at a person.

The world's smallest dog is the Chihuahua, which means "tiny dog in the sky."

Pea crabs (the size of a pea) are the smallest crabs in the world.

75% of wild birds die before they are 6 months old.

sex and religion: probably shouldn't mix them

Reading the news i came across an article about a fundamentalist Pastor who had sex with his daughters in order to "teach them how to behave with a husband". On so many levels i was grossed out by this situation.I ordered by thoughts thusly:

1) fathers have NO BUSINESS teaching their daughters about sex in such an intimate way.

2) how to behave with a husband should be something the husband and wife should be figuring out ALONE.

3) He used the Bible to justify his actions!

4) his wife and church decided to support him through the trial. My question was who was supporting the daughters? And what sort of support is the wife and church offering?

It is cases like these that i wonder how do some people get so confused with sex and religion and rights with wrongs...

whats happening to me??

Further proof that i am getting old...

You can see the couch is actually a PRINT instead of a normal solid colour!!!

Whats in a name?

A friend of mine recently changed her name. It was kinda interesting because i think she's wanted to change her name for a couple of years now. She sent me an email to tell me that the courts had officially approved the name change. She went on to say that the person she was previously known by is no more. She's a new woman with a new name.

Does a name really change who you are?

Shakespeare, very eloquently, suggest that a rose by any other name would still smell as sweet. But a more modern writer, Terry Pratchett, suggests that changing the name of an object, actually changes its properties.

They can't both be right, can they?

Well, actually yes, they can.

You see it all comes down to a matter of semantics and psychology. While its true that a rose may continue to contain all its current properties, no matter its name, the changing of the name changes the emphasis put upon the object. So if we started calling a rose a THORNY BUSH, we might lose the focus on its fragrance and begin to notice its thorns more often. The flower itself would not change but we'd see it in a new light.

So now that my friend is no longer the person that she was yesterday. Is she still my friend?

She assures me that remains the same as yesterday.

Love and Cherish

In the event of an emergency, jump

As the rain pelted the ground i noticed that the living creatures all moved out of its way. Perhaps we are all like the wicked witch who melts in the face of water. Or perhaps its all much less mystical. After all the worms still enjoy a good shower.

The irony here is that the one person in the neighbourhood who is the witch, moves outdoors for this solomn occasion and waters her plants. It is probably her belief that God is evil that makes her ensure her plants get the proper amount of water during a rain storm. Maybe God doesn't water her plants because she's a witch.

The local handyman isn't letting the rain bother him either. He's mowing his lawn. He understands that rain causes the grass to grow and he isn't going to let his lawn get the chance to be lush and green THIS time. I just heard the motor sputter, so perhaps the witch is encouraging him to allow the plants to grow. Either that or she threw water on him and he was forced to move indoors.

The sun is out again and the close on the line hang limp and dripping. I suppose the rain really is a problem for some things.

One for the money, two for the road

After a week's absence i'm back. well, i'm posting a new blog entry that i'm sure will be immediately picked up by the local and national paper. Well, maybe not the paper, but i'm sure talk back radio would enjoy a quick read of my blog on-air. It would bring heaps of people out of the woodworks to talk about the latest issue that i'm blogging about...which today will be Darren Hayes.

Well, not exactly about Darren Hayes, more to do with his husband. You see, Darren married a man who isn't an australian citizen. (shame on him) THis means, every time he comes back to his country getting hubby in is suddenly a lot of hard work. Sure he can come in on a tourist visa, but he can't work on that. He can't stay more than 3 months on that (unless he gets a special tourist visa). This makes Mr. Hayes very upset because every other heterosexual spouse of an australian has "little" trouble getting in.

While i appreciate Darrens predicament. I think he need to realise something. Australia will NEVER open its arms to foreigners...even if they are very good looking british men. Sorry, mate. Take a deep breath and realise the truth. Immigration to the sun-burnt country is hard, even for a straight non-famous person.

Arsenic and Old Lace

Here is a great scene from (near the end of) the film Arsenic and Old Lace. To help the scene makes more sense, the wine in the sceen is poisoned but the two villians don't know.

PLOT: (supplied by wikipedia)

A drama critic and confirmed bachelor, Mortimer Brewster (Cary Grant), has written a number of books describing marriage as just an old-fashioned superstition. Nevertheless, he falls in love with and marries Elaine Harper (Priscilla Lane), who grew up next door to his old family home in Brooklyn.

Immediately after the marriage, he visits the bizarre relatives who still live there, two elderly aunts (Josephine Hull, Jean Adair) and his brother Teddy (John Alexander). Teddy thinks he's Theodore_Roosevelt; each time he goes upstairs he blows a bugle, yells "Charge!", and takes the stairs at a run (in imitation of Roosevelt's famous charge up San Juan Hill. Mortimer finds a corpse hidden in a window seat, and tells his aunts that Teddy must be sent to an asylum, as he has killed someone.

At this point, Mortimer's sweet, if misguided, aunts explain that they are responsible ("It's one of our charities"). They have developed what Mortimer calls the "very bad habit" of ending the presumed suffering of lonely old bachelors by serving them elderberry wine spiked with arsenic strychnine, and "just a pinch of cyanide". The bodies are buried in the basement by Teddy, who thinks he is digging locks for the Panama Canal and burying yellow fever victims.

To complicate matters further, Mortimer's other brother, Jonathan (Raymond Massey), arrives with his alcoholic accomplice, plastic surgeon Dr. Herman Einstein (played by Peter Lorre, and loosely based on gangland surgeon Joseph Moran), in tow. Jonathan is a vicious multiple murderer whose face, as altered by Einstein while drunk, resembles that of Boris Karloff in his makeup as Frankenstein's monster. This comparison is frequently noted in the film, much to Jonathan's annoyance. (This was originally a self-referential joke, as Karloff himself had played the character in the stage production). Jonathan, upon finding out his aunts' secret, decides to bury his own murder victims in the cellar (to which Abby and Martha object vehemently, because their victims were all nice gentlemen) and soon declares his intention to kill Mortimer.

Mortimer makes increasingly frantic attempts to stay on top of the situation as his bride waits for him next door, including multiple efforts to alert the bumbling local cops to the threat Jonathan poses to society. He worries whether he will go insane like the rest of his family. But eventually Jonathan is arrested, while Teddy and the two aunts are safely consigned to an asylum. In the end, Mortimer is overjoyed to learn that he was adopted and is not biologically related to the Brewsters after all. He is actually the son of a sea cook (in the original play, he happily tells Elaine that he's a bastard).